Day 9

Hello. Yesterday was a bad day. Just I was feeling really unhappy.

Then this "Good looking guy" came into my work and all the girls were whispering about how hot he was and were drooling over him.

Naturally I looked too.

And he was pretty damn normal. No Brad Pitt or whoever they think is hot these days. Darn kids

What really pissed me off though (this will sound strange) is that I saw no difference between that man and myself. When I looked at him, we were the same.

But if that were true, then wouldnt I get the same reaction?

This moment defined something for me as its not the first time its happened but it is the first time I can put it into more understandable words (Rather than: Fucking Bastard Ill kill him and shit down his throat ... ((Yes, Im very competitive))).

People dont see me as I see myself.
Im treated a way based upon my appearance.

Fair enough. Its not exactly a bad thing.
For me however, sometimes, its a reminder that Im living in a fantasy. And thats like having a cold shower.

So I told the manager I was getting sick and went home early.

The Gel is giving me an odd...rash? I dont know what to call it.

This is my left arm where I have been applying the gel mostly. Its hard to see but if you look in the middle of the arm you will notice something that looks like lack of pixels. Well, no. Thats actually this 'rash'.

Describing it in one word, Id say "Burnt".

The skin seems to be melted or something. Whatever. Its not painful though.



This is my leg. Sporting the scar/rash of the physio-tape. Its a darker colour than my arm.

Now for those of you connecting the dots I say -

Maybe.

I havent used physiotape to cover the gel since my second application and this rash has occured recently.

Delayed reaction?

Or something more sinister?

PROGRESS REPORT!!!
Yesterday I had spirts of horniess. Just suddenly BAM! I wanted to screw something then BAM! gone.

Today. Well, today Im in ...pain.
In Japanese you'd probably say いたいきもち
Itaikimochi.
A painful pleasurable feeling.

My crotch hurts. Like, aching. Like, busting to go to the bathroom but rather busting for attention.

I had to check to see if everything was alright down there (you may think otherwise but I really dont like doing this). It may be my imagination but... I dont remember being able to see 'it' so damn easily.

Crud Crud Crud.

SO yeh, I tried to sleep but the sensation kept me awake. I ended up trying to sleep on my hand as applying pressure makes the feeling go away.

Well, it worked. Till my hand starting hurt.

Then I resorted to complaining to my wife about it. To which she simply replied "I can fix that"

And she did. But now its back. Lol. So I have to find another way to get around my arousal problem.

Apart from that.. um... my voice is a little sensitive when changing pitches still. Im still irritable... but.. yeh the only thing Im putting down to the extra hormones is that arousal.