Im trying to stay fit and healthy but its not working. I'll relapse every other day and have a bag of chips or something. Damn this crap being hard. Im shooting for 5kgs. Its a lot given how much I actually weight but I know Ill miss and lose only 2kgs or something so its all good.
Ive also got a amateur photo shoot coming up. I have been keeping my skin clean. Thats working out really well.
Ive stopped shaving my lip though because if i do, i seem to get a lot of acne.
The hair there isnt getting very thick still. Its rather wispy still.
Showing posts with label Progress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Progress. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
More lively updates
OMG, did I miss batman begins?!
I totally heart batman. I would have loved to see it ... again.
Well, I am allowed to take my Provisional Permit test in a short while (2 weeks?). I'm stalling. Im just so darn scared, ok?
Im definitely not good enough to do VORT (which is an instant test resulting 99.9% of the time in an instant fail). So I will be doing CBT (Competency Based Training). The Dealio there is you go out on a certain number of drives and complete a list of 'skills'. Each one having to be done twice in order to prove your competency.
Ive entered in a bunch of car competitions and other competitions too. All hoping I can buy me a set of wheels.
My mum suggested that I stop T now that I have my voice. I was like n0 F^
Moment to make fun though;
Period? Really? It's called a Period...Doesnt that strike you as amusing a little?
Sorry, for someone that had horrific 'periods' (and I know another reader can agree with me). They are not so much periods are they are an era.
Yeh thats not going to be something I sign up for in a hurry.
That and my beard hasnt fully set in yet
I know Im totally going to regret it with the pain of shaving but I just have always wanted one!
Just for randomness sake I'll put my measurements up.
Oh first did I mention that my dick is now like 3cm something? That's like a 1cm growth in a year.
w00t w00t! PROGRESS!
Ok, now onto stats
Waist 74cm 30" (was 28")
Bust 89cm 35" (no idea what I was...shall we say...not a lot?)
Shoulder 41cm 16" (was 14")
I totally heart batman. I would have loved to see it ... again.
Well, I am allowed to take my Provisional Permit test in a short while (2 weeks?). I'm stalling. Im just so darn scared, ok?
Im definitely not good enough to do VORT (which is an instant test resulting 99.9% of the time in an instant fail). So I will be doing CBT (Competency Based Training). The Dealio there is you go out on a certain number of drives and complete a list of 'skills'. Each one having to be done twice in order to prove your competency.
Ive entered in a bunch of car competitions and other competitions too. All hoping I can buy me a set of wheels.
My mum suggested that I stop T now that I have my voice. I was like n0 F^
Moment to make fun though;
Period? Really? It's called a Period...Doesnt that strike you as amusing a little?
Sorry, for someone that had horrific 'periods' (and I know another reader can agree with me). They are not so much periods are they are an era.
Yeh thats not going to be something I sign up for in a hurry.
That and my beard hasnt fully set in yet
I know Im totally going to regret it with the pain of shaving but I just have always wanted one!
Just for randomness sake I'll put my measurements up.
Oh first did I mention that my dick is now like 3cm something? That's like a 1cm growth in a year.
w00t w00t! PROGRESS!
Ok, now onto stats
Waist 74cm 30" (was 28")
Bust 89cm 35" (no idea what I was...shall we say...not a lot?)
Shoulder 41cm 16" (was 14")
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
No news is good news
I've got the shrink again next week.
Nothing had changed really. My facial hair is still, duh, getting thicker and darker. Ive got more and more black hairs now on my chin but they piss me off.
I had a hormone drop (I think) because I suddenly felt really depressed but now its lifting.
Im tempted to blame the moon (because it feels like its coincides) but I wiki'd it and there seems to be no correlation.
Love and Peace to you all!
Nothing had changed really. My facial hair is still, duh, getting thicker and darker. Ive got more and more black hairs now on my chin but they piss me off.
I had a hormone drop (I think) because I suddenly felt really depressed but now its lifting.
Im tempted to blame the moon (because it feels like its coincides) but I wiki'd it and there seems to be no correlation.
Love and Peace to you all!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Feeling Shaky
I was feeling fantastic the other day. Ive been working hard at the gym and now my muscles are huge. My abs (which weren't well defined either) are now looking great.
Its been about 3 weeks since I signed up?...about that.
Came home and mum asked if Id talked to doctor lyons about reverting back to my female form (ahahahhaha). He said it is possible. But I dont feel comfortable about the idea. So Ive denied the financial assistance.
Out of the kindness of his heart, Dr Lyons also wiped my debt.
Anyway back to my mum. She said that she "wasnt convinced by what she's seen recently" that Im serious about what Im doing.
Analysing that the things Ice been 'doing recently' would be Clay and I pray to god that shes not referring to him and using him as a reason to why I shouldn't transition. For Safety's sake, I think I should stop having him over as much.
... apart from that I have no idea what shes talking about.
when I asked her to elaborate she said that even as a child I liked to shock people.
Thats true. I did.
As a practical joke.
Although I think this is kind of over the line, dont you think? And I find it offensive that people say this.
I do get a kick out of making crude jokes about my gender. But I don't like causing a fuss. The entire point of my transition was to stop standing out. Isnt that the goal? For most people anyway, to be able to blend in?
I reflected on my time in Japan when I first admitted I was trans and that I couldnt stand 'it' any longer.
My entire attraction to Japan and the Japanese is based around the messy gender-lines in their culture. I could be myself and there was no hassle. It was awesome. No matter how crazy I dressed or how long/short my hair was.. or anything like that I could still be androgynous and nobody gave a crap.
Gender wasn't something assumed by what you did or what you wore there.
It was a country of gray.
But at the same time is a place of conformity... very hard to explain. When I was asked to participate in.. the formal rituals of life. Schooling etc. I couldnt handle how rigid they were.
I couldnt wear a dress.
I couldnt handle the duties I was assigned.
I couldnt stand the social position I was forced to assume.
So yeh, I cracked.
I went a little off topic but what Im trying to say is that its offensive to think that Id deliberately ostracize myself just to grab attention.
I wish there was a way I could pour the pain and memories into a bottle to show them.
Of the times I tried to do 'what I should'.
Of the hours I spent on google, in books, watching movies... looking for someone! a character! or a word! Something that describe the reality I was experiencing.
My intense search though is probably something I should revisit. I remember 'Shinjuku boys' was a documentary I was searching for relentlessly. It was about these drag kings (I think one identified as Trans). Which sounded like what I was like... except I didn't want to get out of 'costume'.
Then I saw someones Vlog on Youtube and that was it. I feel like I was connecting.
----
Progress wise... the hair on the back of my legs has gone nuts. And my dicks gotten bigger again...Its cool I suppose to have a bigger dick but Im having a lot of trouble wanking. Yeh, there is probably a lot of awkwardness for friends who are reading this so Ill leave it there.
If a transguy is reading this.. have you used a flesh light? Whats the results?
Its been about 3 weeks since I signed up?...about that.
Came home and mum asked if Id talked to doctor lyons about reverting back to my female form (ahahahhaha). He said it is possible. But I dont feel comfortable about the idea. So Ive denied the financial assistance.
Out of the kindness of his heart, Dr Lyons also wiped my debt.
Anyway back to my mum. She said that she "wasnt convinced by what she's seen recently" that Im serious about what Im doing.
Analysing that the things Ice been 'doing recently' would be Clay and I pray to god that shes not referring to him and using him as a reason to why I shouldn't transition. For Safety's sake, I think I should stop having him over as much.
... apart from that I have no idea what shes talking about.
when I asked her to elaborate she said that even as a child I liked to shock people.
Thats true. I did.
As a practical joke.
Although I think this is kind of over the line, dont you think? And I find it offensive that people say this.
I do get a kick out of making crude jokes about my gender. But I don't like causing a fuss. The entire point of my transition was to stop standing out. Isnt that the goal? For most people anyway, to be able to blend in?
I reflected on my time in Japan when I first admitted I was trans and that I couldnt stand 'it' any longer.
My entire attraction to Japan and the Japanese is based around the messy gender-lines in their culture. I could be myself and there was no hassle. It was awesome. No matter how crazy I dressed or how long/short my hair was.. or anything like that I could still be androgynous and nobody gave a crap.
Gender wasn't something assumed by what you did or what you wore there.
It was a country of gray.
But at the same time is a place of conformity... very hard to explain. When I was asked to participate in.. the formal rituals of life. Schooling etc. I couldnt handle how rigid they were.
I couldnt wear a dress.
I couldnt handle the duties I was assigned.
I couldnt stand the social position I was forced to assume.
So yeh, I cracked.
I went a little off topic but what Im trying to say is that its offensive to think that Id deliberately ostracize myself just to grab attention.
I wish there was a way I could pour the pain and memories into a bottle to show them.
Of the times I tried to do 'what I should'.
Of the hours I spent on google, in books, watching movies... looking for someone! a character! or a word! Something that describe the reality I was experiencing.
My intense search though is probably something I should revisit. I remember 'Shinjuku boys' was a documentary I was searching for relentlessly. It was about these drag kings (I think one identified as Trans). Which sounded like what I was like... except I didn't want to get out of 'costume'.
Then I saw someones Vlog on Youtube and that was it. I feel like I was connecting.
----
Progress wise... the hair on the back of my legs has gone nuts. And my dicks gotten bigger again...Its cool I suppose to have a bigger dick but Im having a lot of trouble wanking. Yeh, there is probably a lot of awkwardness for friends who are reading this so Ill leave it there.
If a transguy is reading this.. have you used a flesh light? Whats the results?
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Repression
To save me re-writing a lot Ill just show you what I sent to the OZGUYS ftm forum.
-----
Hi, just so you dont have to listen to me go on about what my identity is and we can then get onto the good stuff Ill give you the short version.
- I don't deny I have female genitals
- I feel more comfortable in a male lifestyle
- I feel more comfortable with the sexual characteristics T has given me
- I look forward to chest surgery
My life as a girl was stressful and I felt like I was cross dressing.
Im deeply into the masculine side of femininity.
And somewhere on the effeminate side of masculinity.
Which brings me to my little...uh.. problem.
My mum has offered to pay for my Shrink on the condition that he start pushing me in the direction of making me female.
The money is tempting because I'm unemployed.
But does this stuff really work? Can they repress you like that?
I don't think the doctors FORCE you into any which way, they just listen to you and go "ok, we'll if you think its right for you then here you go."
Anyway, I'm just a little confused and need someone to bat the idea around with.
-----
Yeh, so that's what just happened. I don't remember how it came up but mum said she'd pay for me to go see Dr. Lyons 3 times a week (which is impossible as he works only 2 days a week). The condition is, as I stated in the letter, I be convinced to live as a girl.
Doctors cant ethically do that (as far as Im aware of). Because its a liability mainly.
Although it is tempting.
I seriously cant imagine my life as a girl. Or a lesbian. I couldn't handle that. I enjoy not being noticed!!!! I love looking normal.
Somehow I feel this is partly because of Clay. His frequent visits could possibly be giving Mum the idea that with his unknowing aid a straight-female-lifestyle could be a reality.
Moments like this make me reflect on the path Ive been cutting for myself. Then I look ahead at the track yet to be beaten. I wonder if I could be doing something more effective with this machete?
-----
Hi, just so you dont have to listen to me go on about what my identity is and we can then get onto the good stuff Ill give you the short version.
- I don't deny I have female genitals
- I feel more comfortable in a male lifestyle
- I feel more comfortable with the sexual characteristics T has given me
- I look forward to chest surgery
My life as a girl was stressful and I felt like I was cross dressing.
Im deeply into the masculine side of femininity.
And somewhere on the effeminate side of masculinity.
Which brings me to my little...uh.. problem.
My mum has offered to pay for my Shrink on the condition that he start pushing me in the direction of making me female.
The money is tempting because I'm unemployed.
But does this stuff really work? Can they repress you like that?
I don't think the doctors FORCE you into any which way, they just listen to you and go "ok, we'll if you think its right for you then here you go."
Anyway, I'm just a little confused and need someone to bat the idea around with.
-----
Yeh, so that's what just happened. I don't remember how it came up but mum said she'd pay for me to go see Dr. Lyons 3 times a week (which is impossible as he works only 2 days a week). The condition is, as I stated in the letter, I be convinced to live as a girl.
Doctors cant ethically do that (as far as Im aware of). Because its a liability mainly.
Although it is tempting.
I seriously cant imagine my life as a girl. Or a lesbian. I couldn't handle that. I enjoy not being noticed!!!! I love looking normal.
Somehow I feel this is partly because of Clay. His frequent visits could possibly be giving Mum the idea that with his unknowing aid a straight-female-lifestyle could be a reality.
Moments like this make me reflect on the path Ive been cutting for myself. Then I look ahead at the track yet to be beaten. I wonder if I could be doing something more effective with this machete?
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Ebay Mania
Im getting hooked.
Ive been selling some school uniforms on there (who would have thought there was such a market for used Japanese Girls' Uniforms? .. oh and if you are wondering Im selling a 14y/olds uniform now PM me for a special deal!!!!)
I also was hooked into buying some Aussie Bums underwear. The name hooked me, really. The only qualms I have with buying the dacks is that they are from Hong Kong.
Yes, Im very much against this 'made in china' crap. I dont want them getting the upper hand!
Anyway, so I managed to get me a good pair of blue aussie bums and another red pair for under 10 bucks. Ill be passing the red pair onto Waffles though because he was hawking the auction too. I just beat him to the punch.
In transitioning news... not a lot.
I missed my appointment with Dr Lyons and now most probably have to pay the $200+ fee. And I have to purchase my sustanon soon (another 200+ ). Eek.
Ive been saving up for it though so I hope it all pans out. The selling of my collection on uniforms is probably paying for the most of it.
What a bitching blog.. urg...
well, nothing interest happens anymore.
Oh I used the male toilets when I was with my mum shopping. I thought, I shouldnt have to walk on egg shells for the rest of my life. As I went in though she uttered a 'disgusting'.
In 17 days Ill be taking another pregnancy test to see if any of those bastards have gotten through. I doubt it.
Annnnnd, Ive got an appointment with my Gyno which I must remember to ask her about those damn cysts!
Ive been selling some school uniforms on there (who would have thought there was such a market for used Japanese Girls' Uniforms? .. oh and if you are wondering Im selling a 14y/olds uniform now PM me for a special deal!!!!)
I also was hooked into buying some Aussie Bums underwear. The name hooked me, really. The only qualms I have with buying the dacks is that they are from Hong Kong.
Yes, Im very much against this 'made in china' crap. I dont want them getting the upper hand!
Anyway, so I managed to get me a good pair of blue aussie bums and another red pair for under 10 bucks. Ill be passing the red pair onto Waffles though because he was hawking the auction too. I just beat him to the punch.
In transitioning news... not a lot.
I missed my appointment with Dr Lyons and now most probably have to pay the $200+ fee. And I have to purchase my sustanon soon (another 200+ ). Eek.
Ive been saving up for it though so I hope it all pans out. The selling of my collection on uniforms is probably paying for the most of it.
What a bitching blog.. urg...
well, nothing interest happens anymore.
Oh I used the male toilets when I was with my mum shopping. I thought, I shouldnt have to walk on egg shells for the rest of my life. As I went in though she uttered a 'disgusting'.
In 17 days Ill be taking another pregnancy test to see if any of those bastards have gotten through. I doubt it.
Annnnnd, Ive got an appointment with my Gyno which I must remember to ask her about those damn cysts!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Almost 10 months on T
Yeh and the facial hair is starting to kick in some more. The hair around the side burny area has thickened up and is getting the occasional dark hair.
Im thinking about writing a book at the end of all this. A comedy of course.
Or perhaps doing some stand up event. But, not having a good history with mobs.. i might pass on that idea.
Im in the process of growing my hair out. Im allowed to cut it (for styling only) in October. Which, from the time I last shaved it, would mean it should have on average grown atleast 11cm.
Remarkable!
Did I say i got my Ls? Yeh back in Feb/Early March. I try and do as much driving as possible... but the fact is its just not possible.
Under the current laws I have to do 50 hours driving and 10 of that has to be at night. Then, after 6 months Im allowed to do the test for the Ps.
Ive been warned that Ill be used as a chauffeur. And I dont really mind.
I mean, Ive always wanted to kill you all but to have you willingly say "yes, please let me sit in the death seat!"
Well!...
Im just elated!
So just a general warning to all those in my area who live, walk, learn, work, watch Home&Away .. I might run you down.
My dick seems to be getting bigger... which is surprising me because I thought that was it. Im interesting in buying the Andro Extender. Its a penis enlarger that actually works! Lol.
No in all seriousness, this thing has been getting a fantastic wrap. And I think I read it was going to be used in the medical field for people with micropenis (note: my condition is called pipinna nullus)
The catch is its $300.
And with that same money I could buy me a suit^^
The irony being both things are, in the end, purchases made out of glutton. I dont need either and could put that money towards paying rent .. or better yet! my education!
HAHAHAHA
Who am I kidding.
Im thinking about writing a book at the end of all this. A comedy of course.
Or perhaps doing some stand up event. But, not having a good history with mobs.. i might pass on that idea.
Im in the process of growing my hair out. Im allowed to cut it (for styling only) in October. Which, from the time I last shaved it, would mean it should have on average grown atleast 11cm.
Remarkable!
Did I say i got my Ls? Yeh back in Feb/Early March. I try and do as much driving as possible... but the fact is its just not possible.
Under the current laws I have to do 50 hours driving and 10 of that has to be at night. Then, after 6 months Im allowed to do the test for the Ps.
Ive been warned that Ill be used as a chauffeur. And I dont really mind.
I mean, Ive always wanted to kill you all but to have you willingly say "yes, please let me sit in the death seat!"
Well!...
Im just elated!
So just a general warning to all those in my area who live, walk, learn, work, watch Home&Away .. I might run you down.
My dick seems to be getting bigger... which is surprising me because I thought that was it. Im interesting in buying the Andro Extender. Its a penis enlarger that actually works! Lol.
No in all seriousness, this thing has been getting a fantastic wrap. And I think I read it was going to be used in the medical field for people with micropenis (note: my condition is called pipinna nullus)
The catch is its $300.
And with that same money I could buy me a suit^^
The irony being both things are, in the end, purchases made out of glutton. I dont need either and could put that money towards paying rent .. or better yet! my education!
HAHAHAHA
Who am I kidding.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
A new world
Rodders@ Who says I dont?
Well, it seems to be a new world or a very late new year for me.
As of about 2 days ago I broke up with my girlfriend on the grounds that Im a horrible person who doesnt understand monogamy and definitely needs time to grow up and stop being an ass to everyone is his life *gasping deep breath*. So yah.
Which is a darn shame because I do love her. Its just hard to keep your own head above water without someone else hanging onto your feet with all their baggage too.
Sounds a little selfish.
Last week I also got myself sickeningly drunk. (you know, to the point were you vomit in your sleep?)I was lucky enough to be woken up and given a seconds notice before staining my sheets a very nice shade of purple (no sarcasm intended!)
At the moment Im currently sort of seeing this guy whom I shall refer to as Clay. Hes about 23 and freaking huuuuuuuuuuuuge! ... in height that is. But no complaints, definitely, anywhere else. Hes a great guy and a delight to talk to. And I feel a little guilty that he has to be the guy that Im using to define my sexuality. (yes, Im a slow learner)
For some reason I have this need every now and again to have sex with guys.
However, when I do have sex with men I find it (usually) unsatisfying. Clays had his moments though so there is hope yet.
My obsession seems to be with the penis and Im finding myself thinking what a shame that it has to be attached to a man. I mean, I just love soft sparkly abundantly breasted women too much. Vaginas are ok.. but dicks are just cool.
I love playing with it, the taste of cum and doing whatever to keep it hard 'n' happy.
When Im 'at work' is the only time Ill get horny with a guy.
Mmm, a little random but Im yet to have a male-male sexual experience that tops my memories of when my now-ex-girlfriend and I fucked around with our gender and she got to be on top.
Ill tell you, nothing feels better than being pounded by a gorgeous girl while you play with her jiggling tits.
While Im on the topic of grossing you out, Ive got a friend who gives excellent head. She refuses to give me her secret which is a shame because thats knowledge that could be put to use for the good of all tranny-kind! Oh and shes got massive jugs. I dont know why thats important though...
Oh wow, Ive really gotten off topic. So lets summerise and continue.
Im single.
Ive cut back on my drinks.
Im trying to 100% certify my sexuality ('cause i feel my gender is all set)
And Im also trying to improve my personality, people skills and get in touch with my feelinh (no, no, dont be confused between feelings and ur 'feminine side'. Im going to start listening to my heart... not rampage around and expect all to be forgiven because of a three letter acronym)
So Ive got a long road ahead of me. But I hope at the end of it Ive succeeded.
Well, it seems to be a new world or a very late new year for me.
As of about 2 days ago I broke up with my girlfriend on the grounds that Im a horrible person who doesnt understand monogamy and definitely needs time to grow up and stop being an ass to everyone is his life *gasping deep breath*. So yah.
Which is a darn shame because I do love her. Its just hard to keep your own head above water without someone else hanging onto your feet with all their baggage too.
Sounds a little selfish.
Last week I also got myself sickeningly drunk. (you know, to the point were you vomit in your sleep?)I was lucky enough to be woken up and given a seconds notice before staining my sheets a very nice shade of purple (no sarcasm intended!)
At the moment Im currently sort of seeing this guy whom I shall refer to as Clay. Hes about 23 and freaking huuuuuuuuuuuuge! ... in height that is. But no complaints, definitely, anywhere else. Hes a great guy and a delight to talk to. And I feel a little guilty that he has to be the guy that Im using to define my sexuality. (yes, Im a slow learner)
For some reason I have this need every now and again to have sex with guys.
However, when I do have sex with men I find it (usually) unsatisfying. Clays had his moments though so there is hope yet.
My obsession seems to be with the penis and Im finding myself thinking what a shame that it has to be attached to a man. I mean, I just love soft sparkly abundantly breasted women too much. Vaginas are ok.. but dicks are just cool.
I love playing with it, the taste of cum and doing whatever to keep it hard 'n' happy.
When Im 'at work' is the only time Ill get horny with a guy.
Mmm, a little random but Im yet to have a male-male sexual experience that tops my memories of when my now-ex-girlfriend and I fucked around with our gender and she got to be on top.
Ill tell you, nothing feels better than being pounded by a gorgeous girl while you play with her jiggling tits.
While Im on the topic of grossing you out, Ive got a friend who gives excellent head. She refuses to give me her secret which is a shame because thats knowledge that could be put to use for the good of all tranny-kind! Oh and shes got massive jugs. I dont know why thats important though...
Oh wow, Ive really gotten off topic. So lets summerise and continue.
Im single.
Ive cut back on my drinks.
Im trying to 100% certify my sexuality ('cause i feel my gender is all set)
And Im also trying to improve my personality, people skills and get in touch with my feelinh (no, no, dont be confused between feelings and ur 'feminine side'. Im going to start listening to my heart... not rampage around and expect all to be forgiven because of a three letter acronym)
So Ive got a long road ahead of me. But I hope at the end of it Ive succeeded.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Back in Action
Hello hello..
Hi Rodders, nice to hear from you.
And hello to Marcus. Thanks for your advice, I hope to hear from you again.
... and I think I might actually know who you are...but anyway
Recent Issues in my life include:
Nothing.
Nothing interesting is happening to me. I suppose I dont mind.
Im Job hunting (with no luck) thats about it.
Yes, Im still dating my girlfriend Ash.. that seems to be a common question. Its going to be 2 years in July or something.. I never remember anniversary stuff.
Im focusing on building a great body, keeping healthy (I refuse to jog or walk. Both, I detest!) and trying to fix my posture. Generally, Im doing an overall body polish up.
Ive been off the anti depressants for a while and Im feeling ok. Getting down every now and again but last week and tonight have to be the worst. I attribute them to my relapse into the female hormones. damn them!
In progress news, I now shave my upper lip because it really should be done. Lest I become 'hair lip steve' (family guy joke)
I got my L's a few weeks back. Ive been driving a lot (for those who live near me, have you noticed the path of destruction?)
Today I woke up with something that felt a lot like period cramps. Ive been having them off and on, even pre T. What Ive gathered is that these can be caused by cysts on the ovaries (which I have). I suppose I can endure the pains opposed to ripping my insides out but I guess this is something to discuss with the gynecologist.
I was born in NSW but have lived here since I was about 2 or 3. For some reason I thought that meant I was then to follow the laws in regards to changing gender in SA. I hope that I was right, otherwise (as far as I am aware) Ill have to get two forms of surgery.
Its kind of sad, I suppose a sign of the times, but the only reason I want to change my gender is so that my Reandron becomes cheaper. Otherwise I really couldnt give a shit about that little F printed on the computer screens or on the government forms.
On the topic of chest surgery (I think Ive mentioned this before) I will miss my breasts. Not exactly in a fond way but in the same way as when you rearrage the furniture in your house and you keep expected to trip over that same footstool only to remember that you moved it.
I cannot picture what my chest will look like after surgery. I know I wont regret it. Amazingly, no matter how much I fuck up my life I dont feel regret or remorse. Its only when my decisions start to hurt others that I do. But it will take some getting use to.
I feel a pressure from my Shrink to adhere to 'gender norms'. As a guy I should talk to more guys. Have guyish hobbies. Be a man. Get some balls.
But the fact of the matter is, Im not a guy.
Nor was I raised as one.
Nor will I ever be one
You can stamp, snip and sign whatever you like - It wont be true ... for me.
Im a social evolution that can be assimilated to a gay man in character.
I posses both male and female 'social' traits.
Sorry, this will turn into a massive rant.
I know its my fault for letting a comment get to me thus Im justifying my actions out loud here -
Gender, like all other aspects of humanity, is a never ending variety
To categorise or divide it would be like organising snowflakes.
Urg.
Half the people in the world are insane,
Why am I paying for someone to judge me
><
Oh, and Ive grown out of my binders.. if anyone is looking for an M sized Underworks binder let me know.
Some before and after photos as well.. (I dont want to show you the actual photos from my progress folder. Thats a little embarrassing)
BEFORE
(17 y/o)
AFTER
(About 9 months on T)
Hi Rodders, nice to hear from you.
And hello to Marcus. Thanks for your advice, I hope to hear from you again.
... and I think I might actually know who you are...but anyway
Recent Issues in my life include:
Nothing.
Nothing interesting is happening to me. I suppose I dont mind.
Im Job hunting (with no luck) thats about it.
Yes, Im still dating my girlfriend Ash.. that seems to be a common question. Its going to be 2 years in July or something.. I never remember anniversary stuff.
Im focusing on building a great body, keeping healthy (I refuse to jog or walk. Both, I detest!) and trying to fix my posture. Generally, Im doing an overall body polish up.
Ive been off the anti depressants for a while and Im feeling ok. Getting down every now and again but last week and tonight have to be the worst. I attribute them to my relapse into the female hormones. damn them!
In progress news, I now shave my upper lip because it really should be done. Lest I become 'hair lip steve' (family guy joke)
I got my L's a few weeks back. Ive been driving a lot (for those who live near me, have you noticed the path of destruction?)
Today I woke up with something that felt a lot like period cramps. Ive been having them off and on, even pre T. What Ive gathered is that these can be caused by cysts on the ovaries (which I have). I suppose I can endure the pains opposed to ripping my insides out but I guess this is something to discuss with the gynecologist.
I was born in NSW but have lived here since I was about 2 or 3. For some reason I thought that meant I was then to follow the laws in regards to changing gender in SA. I hope that I was right, otherwise (as far as I am aware) Ill have to get two forms of surgery.
Its kind of sad, I suppose a sign of the times, but the only reason I want to change my gender is so that my Reandron becomes cheaper. Otherwise I really couldnt give a shit about that little F printed on the computer screens or on the government forms.
On the topic of chest surgery (I think Ive mentioned this before) I will miss my breasts. Not exactly in a fond way but in the same way as when you rearrage the furniture in your house and you keep expected to trip over that same footstool only to remember that you moved it.
I cannot picture what my chest will look like after surgery. I know I wont regret it. Amazingly, no matter how much I fuck up my life I dont feel regret or remorse. Its only when my decisions start to hurt others that I do. But it will take some getting use to.
I feel a pressure from my Shrink to adhere to 'gender norms'. As a guy I should talk to more guys. Have guyish hobbies. Be a man. Get some balls.
But the fact of the matter is, Im not a guy.
Nor was I raised as one.
Nor will I ever be one
You can stamp, snip and sign whatever you like - It wont be true ... for me.
Im a social evolution that can be assimilated to a gay man in character.
I posses both male and female 'social' traits.
Sorry, this will turn into a massive rant.
I know its my fault for letting a comment get to me thus Im justifying my actions out loud here -
Gender, like all other aspects of humanity, is a never ending variety
To categorise or divide it would be like organising snowflakes.
Urg.
Half the people in the world are insane,
Why am I paying for someone to judge me
><
Oh, and Ive grown out of my binders.. if anyone is looking for an M sized Underworks binder let me know.
Some before and after photos as well.. (I dont want to show you the actual photos from my progress folder. Thats a little embarrassing)
BEFORE
(17 y/o)
AFTER
(About 9 months on T)
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Progress Report
Hello. Im a day before departing Japan and heading back to my smoldering home.
I must admit Ive got mixed feelings. I miss my friends and a few Australian comforts but I know that there is a heap of crap waiting for me too. I dont particularly want to face my shrink.
I dont remember if I mentioned but as of this month the countdown begins on until when Im allowed to have surgery. The time frame was 2 years since joining the clinic.
Now you can understand why Im a little pissy. As Ive been seeing him since Feb 08 and was accepted onto the program in Nov 08 but the actual counting doesnt start until Feb 09 when I get back from my holidays. Its all justified I know and petty on my part but come onnnnnn!!! So yeh, I wont be able to get surgery until Im 21.
Which is a real kick to the gut as you can imagine (I was too naive, believing his origanal estimate of Nov 09).
The grounds for which are;
a) Im too young
b) Im a risk taking person (which is coupled with the borderline personality disorder)
which I dont think I have. I scoured over the articles on it on Wiki... and yeh... I dont really associate with it. Not enough to say `Thats definately it!`
The following thought is a little messy but.. isnt it kind of like double standards here? He wants to spend more time with me and delve more into my issues. Which means he doesnt really know me very well. However, he can say that he knows enough to bar me from getting surgery?
Another odd thing is he`s making assumptions (which can be blamed on me for not being honest) and using his assumptions or the half of the story he wants to hear as reasons for me being a risk.
I was given the option to go see another shrink. I dont know whether or not I should take it. Either way he will be on the gender clinic board and probably voting against me.
The other issue that has been bothering me is the limit we have on choice in regards to surgeons. Off the bat, Ill say thats scary. It scares me that there doesnt seem to be much room for discussing other options (interstate, international). I mean, its MY body we are talking about... I dont think anyone else should have the final say but me.
This lead me to think perhaps if I want to be serious, I should move. However this is expensive and rather dramatic for something so small and simple.
The other plot that I had in mind (which came to me after my shrink told me) that I can have surgery illegally without their permission (but itll make changing my gender later in life harder). BUT, would it be possible to have the surgery and just not tell anyone?
The requirements to change my gender demand that I have two forms of irreversible changes. Hormones being the first and top surgery being the second. But what if (as i would have had my breasts removed secretly) I had some sort of bottom surgery?
An interesting idea.
I think its a shame that someone would have to consider such an insane way around such obstacles in order to rid themselves of a deformity.
onto the progress report
HAIR
My leg hair has grown a lot an after a glance in the mirror, my ass has turned into some sort of forest.
Im also getting darker hairs around my nipples but not so much anywhere else
The hairs on my lips are thickening and multipling. I also have four black hairs on my chin, forming the most pathetic goatee in history. Side burns dont visibly exist but the hair around there is coarser.
Also, might be my imagination but my hairline maaaay be reciding!
FACE
Acne is bad but this is mainly attributed to diet. The Japanese food has really cleared up my skin
DEFINATELY my jaw has changed shape. Ive got a thicker and broader jaw now and it makes me look very manly. Still cute.. but in a more twinkish way.
I must admit Ive got mixed feelings. I miss my friends and a few Australian comforts but I know that there is a heap of crap waiting for me too. I dont particularly want to face my shrink.
I dont remember if I mentioned but as of this month the countdown begins on until when Im allowed to have surgery. The time frame was 2 years since joining the clinic.
Now you can understand why Im a little pissy. As Ive been seeing him since Feb 08 and was accepted onto the program in Nov 08 but the actual counting doesnt start until Feb 09 when I get back from my holidays. Its all justified I know and petty on my part but come onnnnnn!!! So yeh, I wont be able to get surgery until Im 21.
Which is a real kick to the gut as you can imagine (I was too naive, believing his origanal estimate of Nov 09).
The grounds for which are;
a) Im too young
b) Im a risk taking person (which is coupled with the borderline personality disorder)
which I dont think I have. I scoured over the articles on it on Wiki... and yeh... I dont really associate with it. Not enough to say `Thats definately it!`
The following thought is a little messy but.. isnt it kind of like double standards here? He wants to spend more time with me and delve more into my issues. Which means he doesnt really know me very well. However, he can say that he knows enough to bar me from getting surgery?
Another odd thing is he`s making assumptions (which can be blamed on me for not being honest) and using his assumptions or the half of the story he wants to hear as reasons for me being a risk.
I was given the option to go see another shrink. I dont know whether or not I should take it. Either way he will be on the gender clinic board and probably voting against me.
The other issue that has been bothering me is the limit we have on choice in regards to surgeons. Off the bat, Ill say thats scary. It scares me that there doesnt seem to be much room for discussing other options (interstate, international). I mean, its MY body we are talking about... I dont think anyone else should have the final say but me.
This lead me to think perhaps if I want to be serious, I should move. However this is expensive and rather dramatic for something so small and simple.
The other plot that I had in mind (which came to me after my shrink told me) that I can have surgery illegally without their permission (but itll make changing my gender later in life harder). BUT, would it be possible to have the surgery and just not tell anyone?
The requirements to change my gender demand that I have two forms of irreversible changes. Hormones being the first and top surgery being the second. But what if (as i would have had my breasts removed secretly) I had some sort of bottom surgery?
An interesting idea.
I think its a shame that someone would have to consider such an insane way around such obstacles in order to rid themselves of a deformity.
onto the progress report
HAIR
My leg hair has grown a lot an after a glance in the mirror, my ass has turned into some sort of forest.
Im also getting darker hairs around my nipples but not so much anywhere else
The hairs on my lips are thickening and multipling. I also have four black hairs on my chin, forming the most pathetic goatee in history. Side burns dont visibly exist but the hair around there is coarser.
Also, might be my imagination but my hairline maaaay be reciding!
FACE
Acne is bad but this is mainly attributed to diet. The Japanese food has really cleared up my skin
DEFINATELY my jaw has changed shape. Ive got a thicker and broader jaw now and it makes me look very manly. Still cute.. but in a more twinkish way.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Progress Report
HAIR
I shaved. The hair is coming back. It feels scratchier than usual. I havent really had time to look in the mirror and see the colour
A few dark hairs around my nipples
BREASTS
Small. Down to the tissue only
VOICE
sometimes its hell deep.. sometimes not so much.
STILL
MOOD
Depressed.
terribly depression.
this is insane.
I want to throw my head infront of the subway train.
SEX DRIVE
Still strong
Mr WINKY
Stoppped growing for the time being
OTHER
Im getting gut pains every now and again. It might be my paranoia but I think that it feels like period pain which puts me in a massive panic.
Ive also been having dreams about my period..
Why me worry...
I shaved. The hair is coming back. It feels scratchier than usual. I havent really had time to look in the mirror and see the colour
A few dark hairs around my nipples
BREASTS
Small. Down to the tissue only
VOICE
sometimes its hell deep.. sometimes not so much.
STILL
MOOD
Depressed.
terribly depression.
this is insane.
I want to throw my head infront of the subway train.
SEX DRIVE
Still strong
Mr WINKY
Stoppped growing for the time being
OTHER
Im getting gut pains every now and again. It might be my paranoia but I think that it feels like period pain which puts me in a massive panic.
Ive also been having dreams about my period..
Why me worry...
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Progress Report (among other things)
I went to see Dr Rosemary Jones at North Adelaide. She is a gynacologist, yay!
Also an MTF, yay!
We talked for what seemed like forever and I liked her a lot.
Then we had the psychical exam and yeh... fuck, ow...
Ive got to have a series of more tests and then Ill be getting my injection next friday or tuesday or something (Ive written it down in my wallett). .so yeh, that ought to be great!! I get another dose of reandron just before I hop on the plane for Japan!
I also met Dr Lyons on Tuesday and was asked if I would like to join the gender clinic (and be able to legally start transitioning). But the condition was Im not allowed to have any surgery for 2 years and that 2 years starts from Febuarary. He also wants me to see him monthly (which he added that if i was serious, I should see him weekly). Naturally, I felt this was all complete bullshit and was outraged as at the last session he'd said that it would be possible to have surgery by September next year.
I told Dr Lyons that I want him to be honest and not withhold anything which he said that he didnt. I believed that and, interestingly enough, the next day when I talked to Dr Jones (who also attended the Gender Meeting) she said that it is soley the psychiatrists decision on when Im allowed to have surgery. Where as, Dr Lyons had been painting it as the majoirty of the Gender Meeting had advised him on his decision.
I suppose its not lying, but it is deceptive.
Yeh, I dont like him.
I was told that I have to see soley him in regards to any medicine Im taking (anti depressants) and he will handle all of it.
Then, in true self destructive borderline personality style, I went to my brothers house (so Id been closer to the doctor whom I had to see early the next morning) and got completely smashed with my brother. Which meant I was hung over for my appointment.
HAIR
Im letting it all grow.
My body is still slowly getting hairier. It seems to come and go in focus points. This week its the belly button again!
VOICE
Gone high and raspy
MOOD
Im all good. No rage
SEX DRIVE
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
Mr WINKY
According to Dr Jones, Im a big boy for my time on T
Also an MTF, yay!
We talked for what seemed like forever and I liked her a lot.
Then we had the psychical exam and yeh... fuck, ow...
Ive got to have a series of more tests and then Ill be getting my injection next friday or tuesday or something (Ive written it down in my wallett). .so yeh, that ought to be great!! I get another dose of reandron just before I hop on the plane for Japan!
I also met Dr Lyons on Tuesday and was asked if I would like to join the gender clinic (and be able to legally start transitioning). But the condition was Im not allowed to have any surgery for 2 years and that 2 years starts from Febuarary. He also wants me to see him monthly (which he added that if i was serious, I should see him weekly). Naturally, I felt this was all complete bullshit and was outraged as at the last session he'd said that it would be possible to have surgery by September next year.
I told Dr Lyons that I want him to be honest and not withhold anything which he said that he didnt. I believed that and, interestingly enough, the next day when I talked to Dr Jones (who also attended the Gender Meeting) she said that it is soley the psychiatrists decision on when Im allowed to have surgery. Where as, Dr Lyons had been painting it as the majoirty of the Gender Meeting had advised him on his decision.
I suppose its not lying, but it is deceptive.
Yeh, I dont like him.
I was told that I have to see soley him in regards to any medicine Im taking (anti depressants) and he will handle all of it.
Then, in true self destructive borderline personality style, I went to my brothers house (so Id been closer to the doctor whom I had to see early the next morning) and got completely smashed with my brother. Which meant I was hung over for my appointment.
HAIR
Im letting it all grow.
My body is still slowly getting hairier. It seems to come and go in focus points. This week its the belly button again!
VOICE
Gone high and raspy
MOOD
Im all good. No rage
SEX DRIVE
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
Mr WINKY
According to Dr Jones, Im a big boy for my time on T
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Progress Report
Was I always this macho?
Muscles
Yes, definately. I was looking at myself in the mirror and Ive got definition across my shoulders, pecs and abs.
Still have a fat ass though
Odor
Not so bad. Im making sure to keep myself clean and odor free.
Libido
High as usual for a teenage boy. However instead of walking around with a tent pole its more like Ive sprung a leak. So, this requires constant changing of underwear and extra attention in regards to hygiene in the shower.
Voice
Sexy. Has moments when its higher than usual. I have to keep an eye on my tone though because I was caught the other day talking like a girl.
Hair
This is starting to worry me a little. But I know its probably all in my head. There was talk about psych meds stunting facial hair growth (as a lot of men had reported) and it made me wonder if anti depressants count as psych meds and if thats the reason my facial hair seems to be decreasing.
Or maybe like I said, its all in my head.
Acne
Yep, im fine.
Maybe my brothers were just really gross and dirty
Other
Nooooo idea. Im passing as male 100% of the time.
I shaved my head and now look like eminem.
And here is another photo spam.. .just because its cute... and fucking hilarious!!!
Muscles
Yes, definately. I was looking at myself in the mirror and Ive got definition across my shoulders, pecs and abs.
Still have a fat ass though
Odor
Not so bad. Im making sure to keep myself clean and odor free.
Libido
High as usual for a teenage boy. However instead of walking around with a tent pole its more like Ive sprung a leak. So, this requires constant changing of underwear and extra attention in regards to hygiene in the shower.
Voice
Sexy. Has moments when its higher than usual. I have to keep an eye on my tone though because I was caught the other day talking like a girl.
Hair
This is starting to worry me a little. But I know its probably all in my head. There was talk about psych meds stunting facial hair growth (as a lot of men had reported) and it made me wonder if anti depressants count as psych meds and if thats the reason my facial hair seems to be decreasing.
Or maybe like I said, its all in my head.
Acne
Yep, im fine.
Maybe my brothers were just really gross and dirty
Other
Nooooo idea. Im passing as male 100% of the time.
I shaved my head and now look like eminem.
And here is another photo spam.. .just because its cute... and fucking hilarious!!!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Progress Report
My crotch smells and the discharge is different. I dont know if this is a side effect of T or whether Ive still got an STI.
Im horny (no change)
Facial hair still coming through only on the upper lip but nothing really to be too excited about.
There seems to be a race between my leg hair and my pubic hair - who can reach who first.
My eyebrows have caught wind of such competition and decided to play against each other. Ive now got the beginnings of a monobrow.
My face has a different shape to it.
Acne is ok. A pimple here and there. I try to wash my face regularly. Back acne (also known as Backne) has increased but nothing to jump up and down about.
No adverse side effects from the Reandron so far.
Muscles looking good. Ive been going to the beach regularly and working out there.
Reduction is breast size (apparently noticable)
Ive been stretching my dick off and on. All that Ive noticed is the thickness has seemingly increased.
The anitdepressants are doing me good. Im generally calmer but yet to feel their full effects.
I seem to be crying when I orgasm. I put this down to the meds. The same thing happened last time and to my recollection passed after a month or so (which then marked the beginning of anorgasmia[sp?])
I have had no change in my identity beliefs but Im frustrated by my fantasies of having sex with men. They come in stages (Envy,Lust,Repulsion) usually in that order.
I saw Dr. Georgie Swift, the second Shrink I need to see before the big gender meeting held in my honour (pretty much) which will then decide if I am to be allowed to continue onto the gender reassignment. Georgie was a delight and surprisingly young and fresh. A contrast to Dr. Lyons.
In other news, Ive stopped drinking (for as long as I can help it). Its been about 2 weeks so far.
And to finish off here are some photos just to see how my face is ever so slightly changing.
July 2007
August 2008
Im horny (no change)
Facial hair still coming through only on the upper lip but nothing really to be too excited about.
There seems to be a race between my leg hair and my pubic hair - who can reach who first.
My eyebrows have caught wind of such competition and decided to play against each other. Ive now got the beginnings of a monobrow.
My face has a different shape to it.
Acne is ok. A pimple here and there. I try to wash my face regularly. Back acne (also known as Backne) has increased but nothing to jump up and down about.
No adverse side effects from the Reandron so far.
Muscles looking good. Ive been going to the beach regularly and working out there.
Reduction is breast size (apparently noticable)
Ive been stretching my dick off and on. All that Ive noticed is the thickness has seemingly increased.
The anitdepressants are doing me good. Im generally calmer but yet to feel their full effects.
I seem to be crying when I orgasm. I put this down to the meds. The same thing happened last time and to my recollection passed after a month or so (which then marked the beginning of anorgasmia[sp?])
I have had no change in my identity beliefs but Im frustrated by my fantasies of having sex with men. They come in stages (Envy,Lust,Repulsion) usually in that order.
I saw Dr. Georgie Swift, the second Shrink I need to see before the big gender meeting held in my honour (pretty much) which will then decide if I am to be allowed to continue onto the gender reassignment. Georgie was a delight and surprisingly young and fresh. A contrast to Dr. Lyons.
In other news, Ive stopped drinking (for as long as I can help it). Its been about 2 weeks so far.
And to finish off here are some photos just to see how my face is ever so slightly changing.
July 2007
August 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Progress Report
Its been 1 week on the new drugs (yay! drugs!) and Ive had no adverse side-effects and the injection site was healed and painless less that 24 hours later.
I have been very much in the mood to be active (Read: Beat the crap out of someone) and apart from that and my awful body odor there have been no changes.
I shaved my peach fuzz off.
I have been very much in the mood to be active (Read: Beat the crap out of someone) and apart from that and my awful body odor there have been no changes.
I shaved my peach fuzz off.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Reandron
The latest T. Drug to rock our worlds. Alex here to give you the inside scoop on what the FTM community has to say.
"Ive had 2 periods now and keep getting migraines......and the worst part of it is that the endo didnt say that this might happen. I really wasn't informed about the possibility of my periods coming back...which after 6 months of not having them
has just made me hit rock bottom, like all the progress id been making
is back to zero.
"
And pretty much its been a negative impression all-round.
Unfortunately the packaging doesnt say anything about the adverse affects on FTMs (this generation is still the lab rats, its seems). So what it does entail is the possibility of water retention, rashes, the runs, headaches and such. Which admittedly is similar to the sustanon.
Im happy to deal with all of the above but not my period. I stand by my decision though. Ill keep the world updating on how it all pans out.
Oh and Ill be starting antidepressants (Same as last time) as of tomorrow.
"Ive had 2 periods now and keep getting migraines......and the worst part of it is that the endo didnt say that this might happen. I really wasn't informed about the possibility of my periods coming back...which after 6 months of not having them
has just made me hit rock bottom, like all the progress id been making
is back to zero.
"
And pretty much its been a negative impression all-round.
Unfortunately the packaging doesnt say anything about the adverse affects on FTMs (this generation is still the lab rats, its seems). So what it does entail is the possibility of water retention, rashes, the runs, headaches and such. Which admittedly is similar to the sustanon.
Im happy to deal with all of the above but not my period. I stand by my decision though. Ill keep the world updating on how it all pans out.
Oh and Ill be starting antidepressants (Same as last time) as of tomorrow.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Progress Report
I had my make-up shot of T yesterday and to change the pace a little - Asuka gave it to me.
The most terrifying moment Ive ever experienced.
By far.
I kind of swithced between two personalities. One that was calm and trying to tell Asuka that she will do a fantastic job and the other which was a panicked mess. And you cant blame me!
Here I was at the mercy of my syringe-brandishing girlfriend. Isnt that how most murder stories begin?????
As soon as she aimed it into my muscle I became very interesting in a poster on the wall. For the life of me though I cannot remember what it was talking about but in that instant it was the only thing in my world.
And then it was over. I hardly felt a thing. She did a fantastic job, really!
I was alive!
The hard part was over! YAY!
So we went on our way to the shops after that and I took a seat while Asuka went to the bathroom. In hindsight I should have gone too.
Because as soon as I sat down to rest my stressed body, the urine I had been holding in while I was being injected suddenly gushed out.
I could explain in detail but pretty much how it happened was I wet myself while getting the needle (only a little!!!) and it had been kept inside my body until Id sat down...
So what an interesting end to a lovely day.
The most terrifying moment Ive ever experienced.
By far.
I kind of swithced between two personalities. One that was calm and trying to tell Asuka that she will do a fantastic job and the other which was a panicked mess. And you cant blame me!
Here I was at the mercy of my syringe-brandishing girlfriend. Isnt that how most murder stories begin?????
As soon as she aimed it into my muscle I became very interesting in a poster on the wall. For the life of me though I cannot remember what it was talking about but in that instant it was the only thing in my world.
And then it was over. I hardly felt a thing. She did a fantastic job, really!
I was alive!
The hard part was over! YAY!
So we went on our way to the shops after that and I took a seat while Asuka went to the bathroom. In hindsight I should have gone too.
Because as soon as I sat down to rest my stressed body, the urine I had been holding in while I was being injected suddenly gushed out.
I could explain in detail but pretty much how it happened was I wet myself while getting the needle (only a little!!!) and it had been kept inside my body until Id sat down...
So what an interesting end to a lovely day.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Progress Report
I went to hospital to get an adjustment on my binder. The lady redid the measurements and she was surprised. She was like "How did I make such a mistake with the measurement!?"
It turns out that Ive grown all over about 2cms on average. Even my shoulders have grown which baffled her the most.
My voice is going up and down its depressing.
My period has stopped which Im thrilled. And because of the blood test I had to miss my shot. So Im panicked that its gonna start back up again. But I think I mentioned that before.
It turns out that Ive grown all over about 2cms on average. Even my shoulders have grown which baffled her the most.
My voice is going up and down its depressing.
My period has stopped which Im thrilled. And because of the blood test I had to miss my shot. So Im panicked that its gonna start back up again. But I think I mentioned that before.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Progress Report
Well, I had an appointment with the shrink aaaaand I told him that Ive being taking T. from elsewhere. He laughed and told me I was a 'naughty boy'. Then I corrected him, pointing out 'manipulative' would possibly be better.
Annnnnyway, so he gave me a piece of paper saying I have to go get a blood test. The results would then be sent to either an endo(some sort of specialist) or a gyno.
Me: ...
The gyno is apparently a MTF and she is very careful with her work and make sure that Im 100% fit and ready before clearing me for the T.
The endo on the otherhand doesnt want much to do with me. And is closer.
I chose the gyno because contray to popular belief, Im not a moron - I have to keep a check on my 'manhole' (the new word for my vagina). So she'll give me a papsmear and crap like that. Joy.
The results of the bloodtest will also be sent to my GP (who gave me a lovely yet graphical tutorial on 'bathroom mechanics' much to the embarrassment of my girlfriend). Oh and he also gave me a pen. SCORE!
Because of my bloodtest tomorrow morning I will not be having my injection today. Shame.
And now it occured to me why dont I just do it tomorrow night or something? Duh.
So, in regards to bodily changes my period hasnt come which is both joyous and scary.
And in closing, my mother says Im 'sex-crazed'.
So, its obvious she knows so why bother keeping it down?
Annnnnyway, so he gave me a piece of paper saying I have to go get a blood test. The results would then be sent to either an endo(some sort of specialist) or a gyno.
Me: ...
The gyno is apparently a MTF and she is very careful with her work and make sure that Im 100% fit and ready before clearing me for the T.
The endo on the otherhand doesnt want much to do with me. And is closer.
I chose the gyno because contray to popular belief, Im not a moron - I have to keep a check on my 'manhole' (the new word for my vagina). So she'll give me a papsmear and crap like that. Joy.
The results of the bloodtest will also be sent to my GP (who gave me a lovely yet graphical tutorial on 'bathroom mechanics' much to the embarrassment of my girlfriend). Oh and he also gave me a pen. SCORE!
Because of my bloodtest tomorrow morning I will not be having my injection today. Shame.
And now it occured to me why dont I just do it tomorrow night or something? Duh.
So, in regards to bodily changes my period hasnt come which is both joyous and scary.
And in closing, my mother says Im 'sex-crazed'.
So, its obvious she knows so why bother keeping it down?
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Progress Report
Its been 9 weeks which is about 2 and a bit months. How lovely. I thought it was time for a special review so this one will be covered by Asuka who shall do the 'non paranoid' version of my progress.
The last time she saw me was March 2008 and she arrived in late July (T.Day was early June so practically a month later)
Here is her story
*LAW AND ORDER MUSIC*
Asuka: Lower. Especially in the morning. When you try to shout or when you try to use your voice higher it breaks *she kindly demonstrates* ... like that. Your voice is lower than Waffle.
Asuka: Moustache. A little bit. Ummm... but you shaved...hehehehehe
Asuka: Your hair colour has changed....is that because of...?
Alex: ....
Asuka: ... (^^!)
Asuka: MUSCLES! Is it because you worked hard?
Alex: I didnt work so much on them.
Asuka: Liar, you did it for me, because I like it. I give you my kiss *Kiss*
Asuka: Penis!! Thats the biggest thing
Alex: *Enjoys the pun*
Asuka: And hairy...not just there. LOL
Alex: Do you like my dick?
Asuka: Yeh, if I said no, then its a problem.
Alex: Meh.
Asuka: Your boobs havent changed yet.
Alex: Mmmm...fufufu
Asuka: OH! You smell !! Your armpits! Especially! Smells like....a guy...who belongs to a sports club. Yep.
Asuka: Your body hasnt changed. Like your figure. Parts are changing.
Asuka: Oh yes! Adams apple! Its bigger than before. You already had it huh :P Anyway, what else....
Asuka: I thought youd eat a lot, but you dont..so.. oh..you are always horny. Especially in the morning. Like, guys..*she was a little disgusted when she said that*. Its not bad...ummm....you orgasm quicker. .. and a lot... more than me...hehehe. Ok.. thats all.
-------
And there you have it.
Love and Cheese is better than Cake or Death
The last time she saw me was March 2008 and she arrived in late July (T.Day was early June so practically a month later)
Here is her story
*LAW AND ORDER MUSIC*
Asuka: Lower. Especially in the morning. When you try to shout or when you try to use your voice higher it breaks *she kindly demonstrates* ... like that. Your voice is lower than Waffle.
Asuka: Moustache. A little bit. Ummm... but you shaved...hehehehehe
Asuka: Your hair colour has changed....is that because of...?
Alex: ....
Asuka: ... (^^!)
Asuka: MUSCLES! Is it because you worked hard?
Alex: I didnt work so much on them.
Asuka: Liar, you did it for me, because I like it. I give you my kiss *Kiss*
Asuka: Penis!! Thats the biggest thing
Alex: *Enjoys the pun*
Asuka: And hairy...not just there. LOL
Alex: Do you like my dick?
Asuka: Yeh, if I said no, then its a problem.
Alex: Meh.
Asuka: Your boobs havent changed yet.
Alex: Mmmm...fufufu
Asuka: OH! You smell !! Your armpits! Especially! Smells like....a guy...who belongs to a sports club. Yep.
Asuka: Your body hasnt changed. Like your figure. Parts are changing.
Asuka: Oh yes! Adams apple! Its bigger than before. You already had it huh :P Anyway, what else....
Asuka: I thought youd eat a lot, but you dont..so.. oh..you are always horny. Especially in the morning. Like, guys..*she was a little disgusted when she said that*. Its not bad...ummm....you orgasm quicker. .. and a lot... more than me...hehehe. Ok.. thats all.
-------
And there you have it.
Love and Cheese is better than Cake or Death
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