Thursday, February 21, 2008

Re: A hairy problem

Facial hair... Im sorry. Im obsessed. Waffles knows it. I know it. My darling girlfriend knows it.

And by now you should all have noticed. So let me do my ranting.

I LOVE grooming myself.
Love it.

For me it allows me to be creative and work on myself like I was a fresh lump of clay.

So facial hair for me... is...very important. Its a very defining feautre. So before I dive into attacking "Its a chore"... I wanna complain a little...

1. Exfoliate
Please. I beg you.
If you do nothing else I suggest - do this.

Its very unattractive to see men with faces that look like a hairy bowl of frosty flakes.

Buy some sort of exfoliating device and just give your face a nice scrub over when your in the shower. It takes about 1 minute - tops.

You'll get a better (closer) shave this way.

And if your face is really turning into a cornflake crisis you might wanna get some cream for that. Im not sure if antidandruff works with facial hair but a moisturiser will solve this problem (temporarily). Also check if your aftershave or what not has alcohol it in because yeh... that will dry you out

Side note: Exfoliate as the last thing you do before leaving the shower.


2. Peach Fluff
Yes, a little bit of fluff can be exciting for every young man. But please dont try and grow it. Its there to be shaven. Trust me.
Ive seen an alarming amount of young (bio)guys growing there fluff.

You look like a walrus

If you dont wanna shave it off then atleast trim it back a little.

3. Shavers Vs Blades
I have little respect for shavers.
There... I said it.


Other notes:
- Dont shave first thing in the morning. Your face is all puffy in the morning and not a great thing to shave.
- Wash your face with warm water. It allows the hair particles to swell making them easier to cut
- Have a method. Usually best to start at the sideburns, move to the cheek, neck and then do your goatee and upper lips and such.


Ok now Im gonna go onto this chore thing....
Really? You think so?
Hmmm.... Seeing as I have no facial hair I dont know first hand (which removes all credibility to my ranting)

The first thing that popped into my mind when I read your comment Fatal was that women have a lot more to shave and yet still have the time for it....yeh what gives?
...
.....
and yeh some of them are also shaving there face (god, Im so jealous)

ALRIGHT! My brother is home and Im using his computer. God forbid he come in and read what Im doing and gimme another lecture that starts in the age old way of "I know better than you so do as I say..."

Monday, February 18, 2008

Back to school

Alex goes to school.
Alex has a hormone deficency and thats why he looks 12
Alex (despite people trying to talk to him during the lunch break) prefers to eat alone.
Alex's mum put down his wrong name on the enrollment forms.
The school assumed his gender.

And thats my school life as of week one (which was a while ago).
The teachers assumed pretty much all of this. I just awkwardly laughed.
Apparently one of the teachers is going to go change my gender believing fully that there was some error on the forms

Now this happened at my old school too. But the class knew me so when the mistake was made theyd laugh and someone would point it out. However, at this new school, nobody knows me therefore there is no correction.

And who am I to object to the teacher?
In front of the entire class...


Oh well it will only be a matter of time.

Actually one teacher does know. My english teacher. During the class I approached him and asked him if he could change my name down to Alex (I refused to answer my name... he called me Alica or something anyway).

He laughed and asked me "You prefer that name do you?"
"Yep"
"Odd though. I thought this name [the real name] was a girls name"
"Yeh it is"
"Why did they give you a girls name?"
"Probably 'cause by techincality im a girl"
"Oh.. OH! I see you are one of those people...a.. uh...tran..tran...s..-"
"Gender"
"yes thats it. Great...great.. thats interesting"

And then we moved on with our lives.

I use the urinals at school. I try to pick a time when everyone is out like during class or in the middle of lunch.

Ive only had one guy come in while I was washing my STP in the sink. Luckily Im in the practice of smuggling it and making it look like im just rubbing my hands together.

Needless to say though I still crapped myself. I didnt expect someone to come in.

You know what ive noticed... mens bathrooms dont have mirrors. Where as the womens always do.

Waffles managed to take me under his wing. In a self benefiting way.
I was lying on his bed when he asked "Wanna practice a man job?"
(ok so far this story sounds really sus but bare with me)
I said "ok" thinking he was gonna get me to lift stuff and if he did, id tell him where to cram it.
"Alright. Clean my shaver"
So I took the thing apart and cleaned it and put it back together. Amazing stuff. Seriously enjoyed it. Crazy, huh.
Then I tried using it.
Yeh...
Umm...Yeh....
I dont know. I gonna get more practice. It just didnt give a close shave. Or Im just really lousy.

Well that pretty much updates my doings.
My girlfriend is coming to stay this weekend. Looking forward to that.
Someone to cook my dinner

Oh...and I also need something for my libido. Im picking my brain about what I can do to give myself a boost cause yeh... im seriously not interested and Ive just passed the time in my cycle when im suppose to be MOST interested...and yeh..that time was freaking nothing..

Oh! I was reading that surges of hormones during your cycle make you more inclined for a man. Makes sense.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Something I made!!!

Im proud of this :)

Im in the habit of recording the crazy conversations I have between my friends and I at my house. This one I just couldnt let go to waste. It just captures so many people's true feelings in one small video rant.

Ladies and Gentlement I give you McAnonymous and Waffles in
"I couldnt have said it better myself..."

Friday, February 15, 2008

Death to Spam!!!!

Here is a copy I sent out to everyone whose email address I could get hands off after I repeated state that I DO NOT WISH TO RECIEVE CHAIN MAIL CRAP! Humourous things accepted. They do not count as crap.

If you wish to copy this email or just use it as a template - Go nuts

TITLE: NEWS FROM THE WHITEHOUSE!!!



OMG! TH!S i$ T@t4lly R34L!!!!

MSN IS SHUTTING DOWN!! HOW CAN YOU SAVE YOUR ACCOUNT??
You can suck my cock, thats how.

Stupid people you shit me.

Let me just clear things up for you all so you can sleep better at night.

No, MSN isnt shutting down.

No, There isnt some girl with an arm growing out her ass who you are going to magically donate money to by spreading bullshit FWD'd emails.

No, no matter how many people you send a chain mail your crush isnt going to call you up, or date you or have any interest in you as a result.

No, Pressing Alt F4 wont make anything cool pop out. Moron. (You're even thinking about it now, arent you?)

No, no matter how many people you piss off with your chain mail they're not gonna love you for sending them a generic friendship email with pretty pictures and fancy fonts and emoticons that take forever to load on slower connections. In fact, I think they might add you to their hitlist.

No, No matter how many people's email boxes you clog with your cyber crud its not gonna save you from a retarded chick with an acid burnt face and her evil chipmunks from gnawing your nose off.

WHY?

BECAUSE ITS NOT REAL
EVEN IF YOU 'KNOW ITS FAKE', JUST DONT SEND IT ON. FOR ANY REASON. WHAT SO EVER.
OK? GOT IT? DID I BURST YOUR BUBBLE OF SECURITY? YOU ALRIGHT? GOOD

Now lets grow up and move along

What I would like, what I am requesting, is that firstly you FREAKING THINK!

Yeh, some emails are funny. I get it. Well good. Send it to someone you know has the same sense of humour and you can both enjoy it! Yeh! I understand that!

Just a piece of advice here - Your ENTIRE contact list is not going to want the email.
Dont send it to your uncle's niece's friend's cousin's boyfriend's ex's mother whose business card you found in the gutter one day. Ok? People dont appreciate that. Its almost as irritating as receiving a christmas card that has "To blah blah From Blah blah"

Nobody wants to think that the only reason you wanna talk to them is so you can score with the hunk or hunkette at your school or so you can have your wish of a fridge full of pastry dishes.

Because that's really selfish

And are we really that insecure and self-centred?

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Dont read if you're having a bad day

When someone pops your ego
Sits on your parade
Takes the wind from your sails

Feels pretty weird, huh.

Like being punched in your very core.

It can only take a split second - The wrong word, a flash back, a song on the radio

And pow! your day just goes down down and down...

Yesterday I found out I owe the Shrink $200 for missing the appointment and it will cost $130 to change my name. Wow, bothersome. And very important things to..

But I was pretty fine. There are ways to get through this.

But now, after one stupid phonecall I just feel like I cant hold myself up anymore. I wanna get this out on paper so then maybe... just fucking maybe I can get a decent nights sleep without this issue waking me up from yet another nightmare.

That stupid person is in my dream. Just doing stupid dream person stuff. I dont know. Nothing particularly annoying but I just hate them! Go away! Leave me alone! I wish I could find peace! I know I cant change my memory. I met you - I cant change it. I want closure now!

The fact is Im angry with you. Your stupid hetrosexual life. You make me fucking sick! Dont say "I love you", I dont wanna hear it. You asshole. You just wanna make me angry. Why tell me something like that when you already have "Someone special" and even if you didnt you wouldnt want me that way anyway! Its just annoying! It fucking hurt me! Thats something cruel to do to a kid growing up.

Narrow minded asshole.
Your just the kind I hate.
Pretend to be different but no, your not. Your just like the majority.
You are the kind of people I have to face and put up with and protect myself against everyday.
And so is your "someone special"

You were like the closest person! And I feel like you've betrayed me!

Get out of my dreams! I dont wanna see your face anymore!

And then... if its not that prick...

I dream about hanging myself. Or falling to my death.

Its like the more positive and anti-suicidal I am when Im awake.. the more my subconcious wants to kill me in my sleep.

God I pray for strength.
I need motivation for a decision.

I take a risk. I spend some cash. I transition and maybe I find happiness there.

Or I withdraw all my money. Divide it by two and put in separate envelopes.
One marked simply with "Mother" and the other with "Okada"
And then go put an end to the game.

As Waffles would look at it, waying up pros and cons in a logical way along with energy involved and overall benefit - Option 2 is a goer.

Ah, but if only it was that easy.
Maybe suicide is for those who need it

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Coming from Behind

ow! Ow! OW!

Ok this story starts on Wednesda at 1:39pm.
It should start at 11am when my alarm went off. But it doesnt
I slept through it.
And woke up at 1:39pm
Thrity nine minutes AFTER my appointment with the shrink had started.

Yeh... yeh I was pretty made.
Because not only did I miss a step on the path forward I also
- Have to pay for the session in full
- Have to wait until March before I can see him again

So I was very very unhappy with myself.

I have a small amount of money saved away. Ill guess and say there is about $600 in there now.
And that has to pay for:
6 appointments with the shrink ($40 dollars each)
T shots(Once I start T. $5 a week. God bless Medicare)
Ticket to Japan ($300 one way)
Fee for name change (About 60 - 100 dollars?)
And yeh... then there is the other stuff like if I wanted to do something on weekends, if I wanted a return ticket to Australia (AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHA), Chest surgery and yeh stuff like that.

So this all points to one thing *sigh* I have to get a job again :(
Stupid life. Being so expensive.

Anyway, Ive gone of track the story I wanted to share with you is what I did in order to break even on Wednesday.

Yeh so I wasted forty dollars so I got on the train...
Went to the city
Found a nice man to employ me for a while and then went home 50 dollars richer.

I should feel bad about what I did, shouldnt I? The fact is I dont. The only trace of regret I have is that I didnt charge more.

The usual rate (if you go by industry standards) is about 100.

But yeh... so my ass hurts something chronic.
And no there was no protection involved.
And no, I dont care about that either..

Self-harm, anyone?

...
.....
......

God isnt it sad when we live in a world that forbids love?

Today I remembered going shopping with an ex-girlfriend and some guy was shouting homophobic abuse at us.

I really pray nothing like that happens while my girlfriend is here. It embarrasses me. I know she is stronger than me in her heart and she might brush words off but I dont want her to see me lose face.

God damn it, its like my duty to protect her. I dont want her or myself to feel incompitent.

Argh, yeh that is a real pain for me. It upsets me. A lot.
Lol. I can feel the adreniline rushing through my veins right now.

Umm there was probably something else I wanted to talk about.
I lost some money
I gained some money
Ive lost my general zest for life and feel indifferent.

Ah,
Uncle Fatal

You... my man...are going to be lectured by someone half your age. Ill make it short and sweet.

Life is full of winners and losers.
Mostly the latter.
So which one are you gonna be?

Grab life by the balls.

There is something in your life. Something you have right now (and this could be any number of things) that is your key to achieving well-being. Find it. Utilise it.

There is nothing stopping you from finding someone to cuddle up with. You just need to revalue yourself. 'Cause man you sell yourself too short.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Look out Trees! Look out Lampost!

Because here I come!
Or is it go?

Today I woke up with an inspiration!
Today I wanted to pee.
AT A URINAL!

So, I grabbed my device after school and headed up for the mall (for dinner with Waffles and McAnonymous). Then with the supervised aid of the Waffleman... I presented myself at the urinal.

...and then I got stage fright.

Its harder than I thought to pee while my best bud is watching...

Also to add to the problems I wasnt wearing Y fronts so I had to pull down the front of the underwear and do it that way... which was hard. Stupid lycra sports trunks (they are the only pear I had left!)

The final result was...well.. I asked Waffles to wait outside which he did. And then after much waiting and whistling a few drops leaked out to signify the beginning of a petty trickle.

All I can say is I wanna apologise to the cleaner.
Im sorry - I missed.
It was I who dirtied the floor and Im sorry!

Yeh the stress of peeing and the tightness of the pants meant that the flow didnt come out very well. It only just managed to get into the trough...and the majority hit the ground just infront of my feet (shoes were safe though!)

When I came home from Waffles house I talked to mum about changing my name. If she could sign the papers for me so I didnt have to wait until I was 18. She finally agreed. With little enthusiasm.

When the car stopped I asked her "What are you going to do when I transition?"

And we talked about that.

Her objections were its too early. Im too young. I might change my mind later.
If someone had told her she was transgendered at my age - she would have believed it too.

She also said she feels bad that I have to have such a difficult life.

It would just be easier if I were gay.

She worries about the kind of attention Id attract. She fears that I might be raped (Like Brandon Teena) or bashed because guys would think Im a fag.

Also a friend of the family's sister is gay and didnt like her female body growing up either and it wasnt until she was 20 that she accepted it.

And she also threw it "you know your never going to have a penis" and I just found that really ...condescending.

I mean, come on!
What you think I tripped over a dictionary, landed on the word 'transgender' and said "Oh well, this must be me" And then carried on?
What the fuck, no!
This has been about 1 years solid research! and about another 4 months off and on.

Argh, the problem with talking to my mum is that she is a really influencial person and can really shake my belief.

Id like to be an average teenager and say I find her influencial in my opinions not for any other reason other than she has known me the longest.

So she is most likely to know my behavior best.

So yeh, these talks instill doubt.
I dont know what Im suppose to do
God help me.
Im tired of this.

<>

Im going to bed. Gotta see the shrink tomorrow.
I hate how all this crap has to be sorted in several split up 30 minute sessions.

Back to School

Today I had my first lesson at my new school. Its an adult school and the lessons go for three hours at a time with a short 15 minute break between each.

I sat and didnt do much. Just listened to the teacher lecture. Did a bit of writing.

Name call was interesting. I didnt answer to my name. So the teacher came up to me later and asked who I was and if my name was on the list.

I pointed it out and told him it was to be changed soon anyway so just start calling me Alex.

He agreed easily and commented "Its an usual name. I thought it was only a girls name"

Ah, good to see that some things about school never change.

Ill be visiting the school office tomorrow to see if they can change the name on the records otherwise my terrible name that was given to me at birth (which is really a nice name I suppose - Just not for me) will be printed onto my I.D. Card.

Hmm I just had a brain wave. I should change my name now and get my mum to sign it (Dispite her being against it I know she'd still consent) then I could go get my drivers license! Which saves me waiting till my 18th (which then I dont need consent)
Hmmm.. I might do that.

Ive got a shrink appointment on... Wednesday of this week! Something to look forward to! Except the fact that its eating away at my bank balance. The very same funds which I so dearly need to get me outta this place.

Urg. Damn it. I need a job!

Ah, I tried to open up the subject on transitioning and stuff. I started of (ironically how she started with me) "What do you want me to do for you?". There was this blankness on her face. And on mine. And then me moved on and started talking about something else.

Argh, god Im a coward.

Anyway before I leave you I thought Id give you the lyrics of a song that has stuck with me ever since I first her my mother sing them to me (Is it just me or is that a little ironic too?)

"A Boy Named Sue"
By Johnny Cash

My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."

Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue."

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name.

Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Sue."

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!"

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong."

He said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you "Sue.'"

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I came away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Something to shoot for

I started running over the possible things that could cause me to freak out about transitioning.

For the record: No I havent offically started tranistioning. If everything goes smoothly then I should start my offical transition in June/July ish. Thats if Im really lucky

Possible Freak Out Points:
Facial Hair

I KNOW! What the fuck! I want it so badly right? But when something isnt perfect I freak out (Obessive Compulsive anyone?). So I guess I have a worry that I wouldnt be able to groom myself to the standards I hold for myself.

And know you are thinking "Umm Wow, Alex... thats just uh...really over-reacting just a little dont you think? I mean.. .its hair"

To you I say "Yes. Yes it is. Pity my Girlfriend"

And now you realise that I read your mind perfectly and now your thinking "I hope that's shepards pie in my pants"

Indeed.

Yeh, Im getting ahead of myself anyway. So apart from Facial hair worries.... Um... Not being cute is going to take some time to get use to. I play the '12 Year old boy' role and milk that one and its been working for me real well.

But add T and I have to redo my look. Haha

MY SUPPORTER!!! HELP ME!!!!

I thought I should have an idea of what look I want in my future so I made this up...



You know after staring at this for a while Im thinking there isnt much of jump from now to that. Except the boobs. Yes. Must remove boobs *Hand reaches for a knife*

On the topic of BODY!

Today I woke up in immense pain. My tummy hurt so much (muscle cramps). But before going to the kitchen for water I checked myself out in the mirror.

Fucking like this baby!

/_|_\
|_|_|
[_|_]

And I tried to think of what I was doing the day before to build these muscles..and thus I think Ive found a secret to building rock-hard freakishly sexy abs. Are you listening? You ready? You'll love this I know it.

I spent about 1 hour and 30 minutes yesterday jacking off.

In Total
...

.....
What!
Dont give me that face!

I did some in the morning.. .and then again at night... and then there was a phone call in the middle so I had to answer it, have a drink and go back to work so yeh in total it would have been about an hour and a half.

Scoff all you want. You keep doing your sit ups and Ill just do it my way.

Oh perhaps I should explain why I use the abs while jacking (I do it the same way a bio guy does). I also have this habit of proping myself up which causes me to use the abs.

And yeh, it goes without saying that my arm muscles are developing too. Mayeb its not the T afterall that gives muscle toning... its just all the extra self servicing..

Oh and another thing for the record! Yes! My thrusting has improved! Im still pretty reckless but a definate improvement has been made!


There is also one more thing I wanted to bring up and let you all mellow with.
Sexual Attraction.
Now, men are the easiest to study for this apparently because attraction is orientation. Where that isnt the case with women apparently.

I think back to Waffles Party when a gay guy there was hitting on me thinking I was a boy. Now as soon as he found out I was a girl that disappeared.

I also have had something like this where I was at the train station (In Japan) and spotted a really hot girl. I was thinking about how cool she was and whether or not I would be able to introduce myself (Yes I have that much faith in my looks) but as I got closer to her I totally (internally) freaked. It was a dude! Just dressed in a really feminine way. Instantly my interest turned to a disgust (to be honest). I really dont like guys dressing really girly..

Damn it I just dont like long hair! (<- Im sorry, this is unrelated pent up anger)

So my point after all this rambling is if Gender was Unknown then would we be attracted to anyone without 'sexual orientation' restrictions? Or do you think that there is something deep inside that marks you as 'Female' and that is what you are attracted to opposed to body.

Answering this question would also help me answer the question posed to me often - "Most lesbians like Girly Girls.. but then how come most lesbians dress Masculine and have boyish girlfriends?"

If the fact of KNOWING they are male or female attracts you to them then there would be a clear answer.
Or should that be "Clearer"

Also with my Japanese friend Shin-chan, in my head I read her as.. well.. blank. I read her like I read me. Genderless under close inspection but a man when I think about it quickly. Sorry, all those messy facts aside..

I would have her as my girlfriend. I would date someone like her.
For some reason her boyish-ness is a real turn on.

But if Shin-chan really WAS a guy, I couldnt date her.

So what does that mean?

I enjoy going over this question because like I said, dispite popular belief, I do wanna screw guys. But its always looking at them seperately.
Let me explain that.
About my Girlfriend: I like her personality. She's cute. Her body is sexy. I wanna hold her and make love to her.

But when I look at a guy I never see that "Whole picture". I just see "Nice face". And that 99.9% of the time means "I hope I can look as cool as you after transitioning"

Then there is "Nice body"
90% of the time "I wish it were mine"

"Nice personality"
I think there has been only like one or two guys who have made feel like "I could date you". So this is remains statistically undetermined.

"Nice cock"
..."99.9%" God Id love to ride that (<-Wtf, I know!)

So yeh.. I know Ive rambled so much Ive lost myself *looks at the clock* ah and its 5:15am so thats also a contributing factor to my bullshitting.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

The Long Road

Sorry Ive put this off for long enough. Yes, Fatalist I read your blog(s). It was a while ago. I think after your first comment. I also check back to see if anything has happened with that "Talking to Strangers" because the title is so damn catchy. Anyway...

I do appreciate you blogging about me. It brought me close to tears and made me feel guilty at the same time. Im not the man you think I am. I thought I should just address this.

You are a great man. And there is nothing wrong with what you have done.

Regret is an inevitable part of life. No one gets it perfect the first time. But what makes them seem like they have is the fact that they've learnt from their stuff ups and instead of seeing it as a negative, they see it as a positive. A learning step :)

You say you didnt have the courage to admit who you are. To go out to gay bars and stuff.

Well, frankly.. I admire you.
If I had kept my mouth shut my friend's parents wouldnt feel iffy about having me over.
If I'd kept my mouth shut I'd still fucking be in Japan!

Being able to hid yourself is a strength of its own. A very admirable one.
The only regretable thing I feel when I hear your story is that "Who we are" is something we have to hide from mainstream society.

I find you really facinating. I wish you were a gadget of some sort. I'd wanna crack you open and find out how you work. Every part of your life seems so familiar to me and yet so different. If you do make your way down here, let me know. I might be able to give you a room.

Oh btw, Im not entirely straight.
And Im on the road to being an alcoholic (My mother, brother and girlfriend are keeping an eagle eye on me)

Ok Im sorry. Im sorry. Really. I dont know what I wanted to say. Its too early in the morning and I havent drunk enough water to make up for the alcohol. So yeh.. Im sorry. You're a great guy. I wanna know more about you. Like the real deep down you that you probably dont wanna blog about. So if I could have a piece of u thatd be nice.

Arg I just cant stop thinking about kissing my girlfriend damn it. Stupid thought it playing on a loop.

Ha, must have lost the boobies tape.

Ha, you call kissing 'Snogging'. You English people crack me up.

Urg, life is so tedious. Someone pay me to make a snuff video for them

And Ive also never heard of this 'flashmobbing' ... .but it has given me an idea.
Beware you've created a monster.

Friday, February 1, 2008

We can work it out!

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