Coming from Behind

ow! Ow! OW!

Ok this story starts on Wednesda at 1:39pm.
It should start at 11am when my alarm went off. But it doesnt
I slept through it.
And woke up at 1:39pm
Thrity nine minutes AFTER my appointment with the shrink had started.

Yeh... yeh I was pretty made.
Because not only did I miss a step on the path forward I also
- Have to pay for the session in full
- Have to wait until March before I can see him again

So I was very very unhappy with myself.

I have a small amount of money saved away. Ill guess and say there is about $600 in there now.
And that has to pay for:
6 appointments with the shrink ($40 dollars each)
T shots(Once I start T. $5 a week. God bless Medicare)
Ticket to Japan ($300 one way)
Fee for name change (About 60 - 100 dollars?)
And yeh... then there is the other stuff like if I wanted to do something on weekends, if I wanted a return ticket to Australia (AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHA), Chest surgery and yeh stuff like that.

So this all points to one thing *sigh* I have to get a job again :(
Stupid life. Being so expensive.

Anyway, Ive gone of track the story I wanted to share with you is what I did in order to break even on Wednesday.

Yeh so I wasted forty dollars so I got on the train...
Went to the city
Found a nice man to employ me for a while and then went home 50 dollars richer.

I should feel bad about what I did, shouldnt I? The fact is I dont. The only trace of regret I have is that I didnt charge more.

The usual rate (if you go by industry standards) is about 100.

But yeh... so my ass hurts something chronic.
And no there was no protection involved.
And no, I dont care about that either..

Self-harm, anyone?

...
.....
......

God isnt it sad when we live in a world that forbids love?

Today I remembered going shopping with an ex-girlfriend and some guy was shouting homophobic abuse at us.

I really pray nothing like that happens while my girlfriend is here. It embarrasses me. I know she is stronger than me in her heart and she might brush words off but I dont want her to see me lose face.

God damn it, its like my duty to protect her. I dont want her or myself to feel incompitent.

Argh, yeh that is a real pain for me. It upsets me. A lot.
Lol. I can feel the adreniline rushing through my veins right now.

Umm there was probably something else I wanted to talk about.
I lost some money
I gained some money
Ive lost my general zest for life and feel indifferent.

Ah,
Uncle Fatal

You... my man...are going to be lectured by someone half your age. Ill make it short and sweet.

Life is full of winners and losers.
Mostly the latter.
So which one are you gonna be?

Grab life by the balls.

There is something in your life. Something you have right now (and this could be any number of things) that is your key to achieving well-being. Find it. Utilise it.

There is nothing stopping you from finding someone to cuddle up with. You just need to revalue yourself. 'Cause man you sell yourself too short.