Shock Horror

Asuka wanted to be on a break after a discussion I had yesterday with her. A few minutes later she revoked her decision.

I dont care.

I feel really indifferent.
Why?
'Cause Im a careless bastard?
No.

Im just not afraid of something I cant see.

Even if she broke up with me - what? So what?
She no longer there to not not hold my hand? Not not hug me when I cry? Or not not hear my terrible jokes?

Yeh it doesnt matter.

Oh! Danny (my friend) drew a tattoo on my arm today. Looks cool :) I went to a tattoo parlour earlier that day. I wanna get one but I have to wait until after my transition because otherwise my tattoo is gonna stretch and get all gay.

I also got my 1975 Nikon SLR camera. So, Im happy.
The light meter doesnt seem to be working. It seems that a battery is required. I never knew that. How odd.
I hope that it just needs a battery and its not actually broken because they are freaking expensive to replace.

So, please look forward to photos in the future.

I also hope to take a photo of myself everyday for a year or so. The aim is that I can then put it together in a slideshow so you can actually watch my hair grow (Im currently BALD) and also the very subtle effects of my transition and aging in general. That should be good :)

My life without meds is ok so far. The voices arent bad. I can hear the screaming though. Very loud at times. It seems they are coming in bouts. Usually I dont know who they are but today I recognised the voice to be my own. Not to say that I actually was screaming but it seemed there was a replication of my own voice inside my head.

When I shut my eyes I saw that I put my knife into my own leg. Thus I was screaming.

Danny has been good support. She unmockingly and unemotionally supports.. if thats possible. That and she quite literally hits me when I need it. Always nice.. always nice...

Benny in regards to that news report you linked me, it shits me. It makes me think if I had family support I might have been able to get through this system a little easier.

Im out of beer.
Darn