Progress Report

Well, I had an appointment with the shrink aaaaand I told him that Ive being taking T. from elsewhere. He laughed and told me I was a 'naughty boy'. Then I corrected him, pointing out 'manipulative' would possibly be better.

Annnnnyway, so he gave me a piece of paper saying I have to go get a blood test. The results would then be sent to either an endo(some sort of specialist) or a gyno.

Me: ...

The gyno is apparently a MTF and she is very careful with her work and make sure that Im 100% fit and ready before clearing me for the T.

The endo on the otherhand doesnt want much to do with me. And is closer.

I chose the gyno because contray to popular belief, Im not a moron - I have to keep a check on my 'manhole' (the new word for my vagina). So she'll give me a papsmear and crap like that. Joy.

The results of the bloodtest will also be sent to my GP (who gave me a lovely yet graphical tutorial on 'bathroom mechanics' much to the embarrassment of my girlfriend). Oh and he also gave me a pen. SCORE!

Because of my bloodtest tomorrow morning I will not be having my injection today. Shame.
And now it occured to me why dont I just do it tomorrow night or something? Duh.

So, in regards to bodily changes my period hasnt come which is both joyous and scary.

And in closing, my mother says Im 'sex-crazed'.
So, its obvious she knows so why bother keeping it down?

Progress Report

Its been 9 weeks which is about 2 and a bit months. How lovely. I thought it was time for a special review so this one will be covered by Asuka who shall do the 'non paranoid' version of my progress.

The last time she saw me was March 2008 and she arrived in late July (T.Day was early June so practically a month later)

Here is her story
*LAW AND ORDER MUSIC*

Asuka: Lower. Especially in the morning. When you try to shout or when you try to use your voice higher it breaks *she kindly demonstrates* ... like that. Your voice is lower than Waffle.

Asuka: Moustache. A little bit. Ummm... but you shaved...hehehehehe


Asuka: Your hair colour has changed....is that because of...?
Alex: ....
Asuka: ... (^^!)

Asuka: MUSCLES! Is it because you worked hard?
Alex: I didnt work so much on them.
Asuka: Liar, you did it for me, because I like it. I give you my kiss *Kiss*

Asuka: Penis!! Thats the biggest thing
Alex: *Enjoys the pun*
Asuka: And hairy...not just there. LOL
Alex: Do you like my dick?
Asuka: Yeh, if I said no, then its a problem.
Alex: Meh.

Asuka: Your boobs havent changed yet.
Alex: Mmmm...fufufu
Asuka: OH! You smell !! Your armpits! Especially! Smells like....a guy...who belongs to a sports club. Yep.

Asuka: Your body hasnt changed. Like your figure. Parts are changing.
Asuka: Oh yes! Adams apple! Its bigger than before. You already had it huh :P Anyway, what else....

Asuka: I thought youd eat a lot, but you dont..so.. oh..you are always horny. Especially in the morning. Like, guys..*she was a little disgusted when she said that*. Its not bad...ummm....you orgasm quicker. .. and a lot... more than me...hehehe. Ok.. thats all.

-------

And there you have it.
Love and Cheese is better than Cake or Death

Progress report

Yeh, if it was a girl then that would be fine. I find it less insulting because the rule "Cant hit a girl" applies there. But the person who bullied me in the supermarket was a boy.

I wear steel capped shoes and spent most of my life in some sort of martial arts training and yet I cant kick someones ass. ... lets rephrase, I can - thats a fact and I have. I just dont often get into fights and naturally avoid them.

HAIR
I dont know what the fuck is going on with my chin. One day there is hair, the next day its gone. The stuff on my chin is good.

OTHER
I have an adams apple, I swear. Its just gotten bigger.
And according to Asuka my dick has gotten a little bigger (Since she arrived) but that is totally debatable.

SEX DRIVE
Im satisfied so no problem

Progress Report

Hair
More and more.. but still now visible unless you are sitting under my nose. Asuka says when I kiss her she can feel it scratching her face.

Body Odor
Probably settled a little bit. I wash but smell as soon as I get out of the shower so Ive given up and am inveseting in deoderants.

Sex drive
Ive been having sex everyday so frankly.. Im having more than enough.

Other
My period is coming I think and I just cant handle it. It seems that before it starts I seem more female than any other time. When I look in the mirror I can see it. It scares me and I dont want to go outside. I realise that this is exactly what I was like since I was 13. I despise the girl I see.

I was bullied the other day in the supermarket by someone who use to go to my old school and recognised me. Infront of my girlfriend it was rather humiliating to stand there and have my dignanty crushed.

That was a wake up call that Im not a man to some people.
I dont think I can handle things at the moment so Im considering returning to anti-depressants.

You know what's funny? Danny and I never saw little blue men. We see shadow people. Has anyone else seen them?

Progress Report

VOICE
I just did some scales. I seemed to have dropped an entire octave (for the time being). My previous vocal range was B3 to E5 where as now Im looking at B2 to D#4

HAIR
I have black hairs on my upper lip!! Im so happy! There are about 4 and they are on the right side. I called the biggest one Dave. :)

Tummy is getting hairier and its going not only down towards my groin but a little is going up towards my chest.

*fingers crossed* please no chest hair, please no chest hair.

OTHER
Breasts havent changed btw... and body fat hasnt changed...

S.A UNIT again...

More discussion on Dr. Lyons and the WPATH SOC which is the 'handbook' for medical standards when treating FTM patients and MTF patients.

Yet again we'll be hearing from the User Maddfish.
I'll be bolding things of interest to myself.
---



Well, I guess I'm only talking about SA, which does have the "one and
one only option" thing happening to a huge degree...

I quote from the WPATH SOC

XI. Breast Surgery

For female-to-male patients, a mastectomy procedure is usually the first
surgery performed for success in gender presentation as a man; and for
some patients it is the only surgery undertaken.
When the amount of breast tissue removed requires skin removal, a scar
will result and the patient should be so informed. Female-to-male
patients may have surgery at the same time they begin hormones (1).

XII. Genital Surgery
Eligibility Criteria. These minimum eligibility criteria for various
genital surgeries equally apply to biologic males and females seeking
genital surgery. They are:
1. Legal age of majority in the patient's nation;
2. Usually 12 months of continuous hormonal therapy for those without a
medical
contraindication (see below, "Can Surgery Be Performed Without Hormones
and the Real-life Experience");
3. 12 months of successful continuous full time real-life experience.
Periods of returning to the original gender may indicate ambivalence
about proceeding and generally should not be used to fulfill this
criterion;
4. If required by the mental health professional, regular responsible
participation in
psychotherapy throughout the real-life experience at a frequency
determined jointly by the patient and the mental health professional.
Psychotherapy per se is not an absolute eligibility criterion for
surgery;
5. Demonstrable knowledge of the cost, required lengths of
hospitalizations, likely
complications, and post surgical rehabilitation requirements of various
surgical
approaches;
6. Awareness of different competent surgeons.




--- In OzGuys@yahoogroups.com, Al wrote:
>
> >could have got less scar tissue and
> >probably kept nipple sensation if I lived overseas
>
> It might be a good time to remind new guys there are three surgeons in
Perth doing various techniques not to mention other surgeons in the
other capital cities.
> IMHO you don't need to go overseas to get a good result

Part of the readiness criteria is demonstrating an understanding of
different methods and results etc (#5 above n reference to lower
surgery) . I demonstratably did this, ending up with two surgeons on my
final list to "interview". They were Dr Katsaros and a NSW surgeon. The
NSW surgeon is very good, I know several guys who have been to the
surgeon and have excellent results, however for no reason I can name, I
felt uncomfortable (in that 'wierded out', something ain't quite right
sense) with this surgeon, so I was happy enough to go with Dr Katsaros.
On the other hand, it's not like I ended up with a choice, once Dr.
Lyons decided to refer me, he didn't even ask what I thought of the two
surgeons - I was just expected to be grateful for what I was given. In
SA, overseas is just as far away as interstate...

In reality, both #5 and #6 are incompatible with the SA unit, where you
can demonstate as much awareness as you like, you will only be referred
locally, even if that is not going to be a good result for you.

You do really need to be careful if you go interstate from SA. Dr. Lyons
will coerce interstate psychs into referring you back to him (and not to
any surgeon) if he finds out.

The situation is also vastly different for lower surgery. Someone
correct me if I'm wrong here, but there are a total of three surgeons
that (to various degrees) undertake one form or another of FtM genital
reconstruction in Australia: Hearsche (sp?) who has been in trouble with
the AMA and gets some really awful results for both men and women; Ceber
(Monash) who stopped operating last year, citing his own complication
rate, which was about double that expected (I believe he is operating
again now); and Kimble down in Tassie, whom I haven't heard a lot about.
These surgeons (allowance for my lack of knowledge re. Kimble) simply
aren't the equal of the Belgian team, Belgrade team, perhaps Stephanides
(USA), Meltzer, the Montreal team... (and of course, Thailand for our
women counterparts).
Again, for guys, there is no one "magic bullet" operation. Even if the
most competent surgeon in the world was Aussie, any particular man might
prefer a different result (maybe meta vs phallo, or buccal graft vs
vaginal graft or forearm vs abdominal flap etc..)

Personally I feel that part of the problem is:
a) lack of population. Australia could maybe sustain one surgeon doing
GRS - and this really doesn't help us guys given the plethora of
techniques around
b) the attitude (problem) here. When I was doing the psych thing, Dr.
Lyons tried to convince me that it was OK for a surgeon not to want to
show anyone their results or publish in academic journals because they
didn't want it publicly known that they were undertaking genital
reconstructive surgeries on trans patients (2)- that it was only a small
part of their practice and I should be happy I had the option at all. I
tried to convince him that whatever, but I was more inclined to
investigate and eventually visit a surgeon who didn't find their work
shameful and that I could investigate and understand *before* I spent
the time and money travelling to see them.

------------------------

(1) I was told that I had to have T for 12months before I could have surgery.
(2) This is odd and I can really see any reason why a doctor would want to without evidence of the surgery.

Something smells really rotten in the SA Unit.
The things I find most odd is that Dr. Lyons has mentioned that the Melbourne clinics work faster and that if I found the support of a political party Id be able to have all I wanted tomorrow. Why would he put all these ideas to me?

I have my next appointment in August. I'll be asking for:
- My script for T
- If no, then why not?

There is a triad mentioned in the WPATH SOC. It goes Real Life -> Hormones -> Surgery. That is the path Im suppose to follow. Its been over a year now of my 'real life experience' and Im doing well. Only through help have I managed to obtain Hormones and have been on them for about 2 months now and Im doing well.

I see no reason to be denied hormones. Im mentally able (being labelled a Drama-Queen) and ive cleared all other standards... so why am I still here?

--

Now to completely contradict myself Ive become all paranoid. Im trying to find out what triggers it and so far all I have is stress. The only thing is.. I dont feel stressed so it becomes harder to measure what's going on in my head. I came to the stress conclusion based on their were stressful events happening around the time of my episodes of insanity.

At the moment, school is starting up and Asuka is coming next week. Those are my 'stress factors' I think.

What's crazy? Umm... normal objects have been mistaken as scary things. You know, the stuff that use to happen to you as a kid. Its happening to me now. Usually if you stare at something it would go away and you'd recognise it but for me they arent going away.

I refuse to go back onto anti-depressants so Im going to focus on taking the Fish Oil cruddy tablets like my GP suggested.

TRANSITION UPDATE

HAIR
Im getting black hairs on my belly (more and more) and some of them are appearing over night. Its rather odd. I look like that Sand monster from Return of the Jedi.

No dark ones on my face though :(

VOICE
There is a pattern! Deep -> Cracky -> High -> Deep ->Rinse and repeat.
Yesterday was my Cracky day so now Im kind of high. It was suggested I go to a voice trainer and Im still giving it more thought. Id rather do it myself and save the $60. There should be a voice training videos for FTMs like there is for MTFs.

S.A. UNIT

A member from the FTMAustralia forum posted this and I thought it would be nice to share as it mentions my pysch (Dr. Lyons) and addressing some ideas I was toying with in my mind.

--

With all the new SA guys, I feel compelled to say that it is possible
to fight the SA unit - to an extent.

Two examples, Rob Lyons won't tell you that the minimum he needs to
see you (to ensure his duty of care) is every three months, not every
month.

Also, if you get referred to Dr Tony Roberts as your endo, he will
insist all he is allowed to prescribe is Sustanon 250 / three weeks.
However, he has a habit of giving you a bit more than a year's worth
on one script (I actually couldn't fill my last repeat because the
script was too old). Ask him to give you 6 shots at once (saves
pharmacy dispensing fee, if you go to the Chemist Warehouse near DJ's
you'll get it for the authority script price, i.e. ~$62). When you
start getting the new script six weeks early, all you need to say is
that your GP adjusted the dose (mine did after blood tests). Two weeks
is the standard dosing schedule (it even says so in the patient
information), so the pharmacist shouldn't have too much of a problem.

Unfortunately, for surgery you're kind of stuck. This one, even I went
interstate for. I'd recommend against allowing Lyons to find out
you're seeking care elsewhere as he will be a real pain about it when
he sees you and he will jeopardise your treatment interstate (i.e. by
instructing an interstate psych not to treat you). But you have to
weigh up how you feel about being dishonest, depending on how you play
this one.

FWIW. The SA unit doe not conform to the WPATH SOC and is in fact
moving against those treatment guidelines.