Progress Report

Muscles
Still good. No change in any thing else fat/muscle wise.

Da Wang
Hasnt changed

Sex Drive
Stupidly high. I want sex and I want it now. Im self servicing every night so far. Ive also noticed I havent lost my ability for multiple orgasms. Couple that with my high demand for sex and we've got a very very big problem. Waffles unfortunately got caught in my horny path.

Facial Hair
The hair I shaved off a few weeks ago has grown back.. .blonde.. so nope, nothing yet.

Acne
Still breaking out here and there.

Body Odor
Still smell weird

Voice
Yes! Definately different! Danny has noticed. Its gone down a little. Im also having a little bit of trouble controling the volume. The day before I noticed a clearer difference I was having trouble speaking. Like it was taking more energy and my throat was tense.

But after 2 days of an interesting voice its returned to its previous level. Althogh when I laugh or just sometimes after a break in conversation it goes down again.

Emotions
After being irritable for a few days, Im now feeling like I wanna curl up and cry (which I did and it didnt help anything!) My period SHOULD be soonish.. so hmm... its going to be very interesting to see what happens.


Other
I dont know what to make of this but my face is very flushed a majority of the time. Its very hot!

Its almost annoying having all the blood up there. I feel like I wanna say "Hey! Get back in my pants!"

Breaking it off

Well, my true identity (alex) was disclosed to my friend's Danny 's mother. She has met me before under my former name. Anyway her mother found out and went on and on to Danny and asking if we were going out and stuff and blah blah blah. So in conclusion, I said I wouldnt meet her again... with the exception of the holidays when she will stay at my house for a few days.. but yeh after that no.

Unfortunately Danny said Im going to a doctor to fix my problem ... so... mmm... yeh... I dont know how I feel about her mother knowing.. because I dont particularly like that mother for her general socipathic tendancies... mmm yeh.


Well, I guess I am going to miss having a girl who likes woman as much as I do. For most of my life I was the only lesbian.. so.. mm... I hope you can understand how I feel.

Progress Report

I had my second shot of Man Juice ... in my ass. Yeh, Im going to opt for the arm. Also for D.I.Y. injections I think that in the arm has to be easier. Im yet to stab my own ass but its just a thought.

Also, with the soreness its a little hard to sleep if you are restless like me. Last night I had some sort of fit and jumped up and down on my bed in my sleep, landing square on the injection site. It was quite a shock.

CHANGES!!

Muscles
I havent done much exercise (Ive stopped my weekly boxing and the only thing Ive been doing is...well... nothing) My biceps are very nice and my abs are alright too. I can explain the exercise of the abs though... which brings me to my next point

Da Wang
My dick is still large when erect. Very nice. Im able to have some for of penetrative sex. However, I havent noticed any growth since the first spirt. *grabs a ruler* It seems Im 1.7cm flaccid at the moment.

Sex Drive
Going down again. Im thinking about sex a lot but that has always been ;)

Facial Hair
Nope, nothing

Acne
Yes. Slightly more than usual.
I have it normally on the forehead however, Im getting a few on my cheeks which is a totally new place for me. Also my upper lip seems to be getting a bit oily and breaking out. My back is clean as a whistle.

Body Odor
Yes. My urine smells and Im stinking. This one isnt set fast because yeh it could be a food thing.

Voice
Probably.. a fraction.. a tiny iddy bitty bit but nothing really. My voice seems to naturally change between high and low so its hard to judge. The other day I did a guitar sing a lot by my self and I did notice that my voice did feel tighter when singing previously 'easy' notes.




Right now Im watching TODAY in America. Its a NEWS show if you dont know. Is really lame. They just had these really stupid mistakes. One of them was an interview with an American Soldier in charge of taking care of the flooding over there.

Reporter: If the President said he would give you anything you need right now what would you ask for?
Army Dude: Well, Ive been working really close with the techinical team here, finding out how we can stop the leaks.
Reporter: ....
Me: ....

Progress Report

I just measured myself after a shower. My wang is just pushing 1.7cm
After stretching I finished up at 2.2cm

In general, Im horny but yeh nothing absolutely insane. I think its more of being off meds and having some T to spare in my blood.

Ive noticed my depression has specific times, reaching it ultimate peak at night.

At the moment I feel so bummed out that Im convinced my depression has somehow turned into a physical thing and is crushing me with its weight. It seems hard to breathe.

Really - there is no progress. I just needed someone to talk to

Progress Report

My arm was very hot around the injection site. That cause the most discomfort.

Only changes so far is my sex drive. I have like an ache in my groin but yeh... its ok. Im doing ok with it so far.

My mood has been pretty happy but every now and again I stop and feel like Im out of energy and that Im sad. Then it fades and I go back to being rather happy.

Also, (my period finished about 3 days ago) Ive noticed Im bleeding after sex. It could have been a fingernail issue which Im now pretty sure it is. However the one thing that I thought was weird was when I was cleaning myself in the shower.. a kind of blood clot came out. Very small.

At the moment Im putting it down to coincidence but Im definatly keeping an eye on the issue.

Ex-Gay Camp

My mum said again that "Wouldnt it be easier if you were just gay?"

Blah blah blah more crap...

Then I said I feel so much happier being Alex. Apparently she has noticed.

Then she asked if the doctor has tried changing the mind to fit the body instead of the body to the mind.

She feels like Im gonna blame her and that maybe she shouldnt have let me play rough and tumble.

I said it seems a lot like those ex-gay camps... that failed miserably... ARGH... how do I fix this crap..

So I said Im just gonna move out... Arhhhhhhh....

You had a bad day

Argh I dont know what it is exactly about my Psych but he annoys me. I feel like he's not really helping. Hes taking my money and yeh.. all I feel is bad! rrrrr....

Oh and the fact I had to catch a 6am train..

Then I went to see my G.P. and fell asleep in the waiting room. Apparently I was out cold.

Anyway...so afterwards I got drunk and caught a bus. This really nice lady was at the bus stop with me. She was looking at me in a very non accusing way and asked "Isnt it a bit early?"

"For what?"

"To be drinking"

I checked my watch to see it was 12:30 in the afternoon. Id been up for more than 12 hours so... no.. for me, that was my late afternoon. However, I completely forgot that the average man has "Drinking Hours" where as I have a beer with breakfast.

Anyway, Im back on the drugs. Not the mellow yellow ones but the man juice ones. So, Ill be able to keep a track record again of how Im doing. It was an injection again..and fuck! You know as soon as you get an injection EVERYONE hits you.

Oh the pain... the pain of it all!!!

Mm, Im still on the hunt for cheap and accessable T. Apparently it is also available from people who own sheep. However, in my doped stage of tiredness I didnt ask any questions like...

What kind of sheep owners? And what the hell do they use it for anyway?!

Other news...Ummm .. my general being an asshole attitude has pushed everyone away from me. How do I feel about this - fine I guess. I dont know. I dont have any big feelings about it apart from 'hey yeah, I am a dick!'

Whatever whatever whatever...
Im feeling a lot of indifference.

Argh, looks like Im gonna have to write a list of things I can improve on and things I do that make people feel bad.

This is the best strategy for not being a dick I can think of and I dont think its working because Im repeating my behaviour. Any suggestions?